The Beatitudes

Shalom (God’s gift of peace and contentment) is God’s gift for those who are poor is spirit or not so full of themselves and their egos. These folks will inherit, not earn, or even deserve, God’s Kingdom. Shalom is God’s gift for those who mourn their regrets--those things they have done and/or said as well as those things they have left undone or unsaid. God says they shall me comforted. Shalom is a gift from God for those who are meek and thereby controlled by God’s guidance and desires rather than their own ego’s, plans, and ideas. God says these people will inherit the earth. Shalom is a gift from God for those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, which is right relations with God, the earth with its land, water, air, trees, flowers, etc., as well as right relationships with others, as well as their own self. God has promised that these folks will be filled or satisfied. Shalom is a gift from being merciful. Stop the judging and complaining and learn to become full of mercy for everyone, including yourself. God says that you will receive mercy for your merciful attitude and behaviors. The pure in heart shall have Shalom. Pure in heart surely means being of a single mind, purpose of following Jesus. It is not a wandering mind and/or behavior. God says that these folks will get the opportunity to see God. Shalom belongs to the peacemakers; note it is the peacemakers not the peacekeepers. Peacemakers trust themselves, with their attitudes and behaviors, not to make situations worse as they are involved. Peacekeepers look for opportunities to avoid any conflict. Peacemakers are those who are following the above beatitudes. Peacemakers are the less anxious among us who are attentive to their emotions, attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors. These beatitude folks will have difficulties because they are different from most of us. Nevertheless, God says that Shalom will be theirs for they belong to the Kingdom of Heaven

Stop Kicking Against the Goads

Much too frequently we fuss and complain about our present situation. We struggle with how things really are, as we recall how things used to be and how we wish all these changes were not happening. With this struggle, we become infected with anxiety, depression, grief, anger, etc. We seem unable to accept and adapt. Acceptance means that we recognize the way things are. It is as it is. That is a healthy outlook. Things are not as they used to be, and they will never again be that way. Our world has, is, and continues to change. Acceptance means recognition of changes. Acceptance, however, also needs adaption. Adaption means that I change or alter my attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors to give evidence of my acceptance of reality. Adaption means that I will need to learn some new ways of doing things. It is one thing to say that I have accepted but if there is not adaption, then there is no genuine acceptance. The Bible says to “quit kicking against the goads” (Acts 26:14). This was God speaking to Saul as he was being confronted on the read to Damascus. It was such a significant experience that his name was changed from Saul to Paul. There are folks who continue kicking against the “goads” of present reality of health, family (or lack of family), work, politics, church, ways of doing things, etc. They are still kicking against the “goads” and wondering why nothing changes as they want things to change and why they are so frustrated and angry. Acceptance and adaption are two sides of the same coin, and they go together. Stop kicking against the “goads” and work toward accepting and adapting. When you do this, you may discover a significant change in how you are feeling about reality. Frustration and anger may begin to diminish as peace and contentment start to increase. Such change in myself is healing or redemption.

A Message from the Shredder

There are several pieces of mail waiting on my desk to be shredded. Most of them are requests for money, i.e., donations. They do not come right out and ask for money; “No,” they write about a membership that is about to expire. I do not ever recall joining or becoming a member of their organization. I do not even know what they mean by membership. I probably sent them a donation in year’s past and now they have my information. One request even says that they have not yet received my donation for 2022. I do not think it was to become an annual thing. One of those pieces of to-be-shredded mail even states that this is my final chance for 2022. There are even several pieces of mail from organizations of which I have no acquaintance. I guess this is the result of organizations buying information from other organizations. This is the season of Thanksgiving and Advent. From the looks of pieces of mail on my desk waiting to be shredded, I think it is also the season of job security for the postal workers.

Bitter-Sweet Holidays

The Holidays can be bitter-sweet for many individuals and families. The holidays are a sweet experience as we gather and celebrate. The holidays are a bitter experience because someone is not going to be present with us. There is not a timeline by which to determine when the bitter time is complete. We will always miss our loved one. Hopefully, the grim times of missing our loved one will be less difficult as time goes by, but his/her absence will always be noticed. I share a suggestion for journeying through any bitter-sweet holidays. My suggestion is a general suggestion because each of us will deal with our grieving as we have developed our specific grief patterns from the past. My suggestion is that we do not ignore the loved one’s absence. Talk about him/her. One family bakes mother’s favorite pie at Christmas and it has a special place on the table. It is Mom’s continuing gift, even after she has passed. This family has also gathered some of mom’s favorite recipes and gave that collection as gifts. Not only was this a cherished gift to her children and grandchildren, but Mom knew they were going to do this as she was in the process of dying. She told me how that pleased her knowing that she was going to be remembered. Perhaps the family could gift some of Dad’s or Grandpa’s tools. With any such gifts, tell the stories of the recipes or tools. The holidays, as the family has gathered, is a wonderful time to tell the stories of our parents, grandparents, and ancestors. One of the most valuable gifts for children, grandchildren are the stories of their ancestors. I have fond memories of my grandmother talking about fording the Red River in a wagon and team of horses as she and her parents, my great-grandparents, traveled from Texas to Oklahoma. As you journey through a bitter-sweet Holiday season, realize that you already have some of the most wonderful gifts to share—the stories of the family.

Acceptance

Acceptance is one of the easy things to say and one of the most difficult things to make happen. How do I accept that which I do not want to accept? Is accepting something merely a nice word for giving up? How can I accept something which I do not believe is in my, or the other person’s, best interest? If I say that I accept something, how do I keep my mind from ruminating about that which I “have accepted?” I wish I had a good answer to each of these challenging questions. When the issue comes up that I am trying to accept, I remind myself that I am working toward acceptance. Acceptance requires my continual action; not something that is already accomplished. Perhaps it is best said that accepting is a better description than acceptance. Accepting has something to do with “letting go.” For me to become accepting, I must let go of my expectations. My expectations and my accepting seem to be working against each other. Therefore, accepting will involve letting go of my expectations. I am willing, by God’s grace, to be accepting of what happens. If I don’t like it, I will learn to deal with it in a healthy and appropriate manner of behavior as well as attitude. I really am in control of my behavior and attitude even though I am not in control of others and most circumstances. Perhaps accepting involves this sense of knowing what I may control and what I may not control as well as dealing with my expectations.

Decisions Have Consequences

Decisions have consequences. There is a time in the grieving process known as the ‘struggle between fantasy and reality.’ We recognize this period with our “what if …?” questions. For example, I am a fan of the Cincinnati Reds baseball team. What if the Reds had not fired Dusty Baker in 2013 because he could not win a World Series even though he repeatedly led the team into the playoffs. Last night Dusty won the World Series with the Houston Astros. I am also a fan of the OU football “Sooners” team having been raised in Norman, Oklahoma, and an alumnus of OU. Yesterday they lost to Baylor, their fourth loss this year. The OU Sooners rarely has a losing team and are usually among the top ranked nationally teams. What if the OU athletic powers had not decided to move into the Southeastern Conference in a couple of years and their winning coach, Lincoln Riley, had not left for southern California. Decisions have consequences. Some of our decisions are good and have wonderful consequences. However, some decisions have negative consequences, and we live and grieve those for a long time--if we have good memories

Daylight Savings Time

I am eager to turn our clocks back this Saturday evening. I think the reason we turn our clock forward is that businesses and families will have more daylight time in the summer evenings. I hope that business have made their money from the move and families have enjoyed the long summer evenings. However, I wish we would turn our clocks back earlier in the year, somehow aligned with the children’s school year. I do not like to think of children standing in the dark waiting on their school buses. If there is such an attitude of what is best for business versus children, I will always vote and advocate for the children without apology. So, I an eager to turn our clocks back one hour. In the future as this time issue arises again, I pray that our leaders will think of the children first and do whatever needs to be done with our sense of time and clocks to advantage the children.

The Haunted House of Insignificant Successes

“The Haunted House of Insignificant Successes” is a phrase in David Whyte’s book, CROSSING THE UNKNOWN SEA. “Yes, I recommend both the reading and pondering of this book.” In my practice as a psychotherapist, I hear individuals who have spent their life following someone else’s dream. If not another person’s dream, they have invested life in things, relationships, careers, etc. that have not sustained their life’s meaning and purpose. Such is indeed a “haunted house.” A career may be chosen for the promise of money, attention, prestige, power, etc. These motivations are not bad in themselves; however, they cannot create contentment because there is always a “more” or “bigger” bait that is luring. Neither “more” or “bigger” brings contentment. If one lives near poverty “more” may be essential. Those who live in poverty may be there because those of us who are out of poverty are hoarding our blessings. Most of us, however, do not live near the poverty level except in our sense of contentment. It is a sad reality that many individuals live at the poverty level of contentment. This gift of contentment may be discovered within oneself because others cannot give it to you. In your soul is the place where you may discover the dream or dreams that have been planted in you. Knowing and following your unique life’s purpose is the journey into contentment and the journey is the destination.

The Chow-chow

I ate a bowl of black-eyed peas made even more delicious by a large and heaping spoonful of chow-chow. I grew up with chow-chow. I remember both my Granny and Grandmother making chow-chow. I don’t recall with what we ate it, perhaps a bowl of black-eyed peas, but I do remember their chow-chow. Their chow-chow was different, although both were delicious. They both contained all types of shredded stuff, most of which I did not recognize. I can recall the smell, which was strong, like pickle juice. I could not tell the difference although I knew that I liked both. I did not have a favorite. It really did not make any difference what their chow-chow contained or how it was prepared, I knew it was made and offered in love. I am certain that love was the magic ingredient that made their chow-chow, as well as all their cooking so special and delicious. Isn’t it interesting how a bowl of black-eyed peas and some chow-chow bring back such wonderful memories. Thanks Granny and Grandma.

Unity Is Not Uniformity

Two recent conversations are laying on my mind. Both separate conversations were about leading their respective Churches (from two separate denominations) to a public declaration of inclusiveness. Both Churches publicizes their openness to all people, specifically the gay and lesbian community. I have thought they are so inclusive that they have almost become exclusive. I wish for the Churches that the liberals in politics and religion would be capable of sitting with the conservatives in politics and religion and talk and listen to each other with respect and seeking, not only understanding as to how the others have evolved to their places but, also, how we can work and worship together. I am personally weary of ‘who is right and who is wrong.’ It seems to me that we both are responsible for the great divisions in our world and our churches. It is as if we are all “too sure of ourselves”. Where is the humility that we might be, and surely are, wrong about some of the things we believe and teach. Do we push against social injustices? Absolutely. Is our goal to defeat them personally even think of them as the enemy? That goal does not seem correct. The denomination of which I have chosen to belong at this time believes in “relational missions.” Live respectfully among the others and learn from them and they may choose to learn from us but even if not, mutual respect will develop. I like that process and goal. I seek unity, not uniformity.

Toxic Faith

Toxic faith is real, unhealthy, and dangerous. In their book by the same title, Stephen Arterburn and Jack Felton write, “Toxic faith is a destructive and dangerous relationship with a religion that allows the religion, not the relationship with God, to control a person’s life.” (slipcover of book). My colleague, Dr. Jennifer Degler, at the Interfaith Counseling Center recently gave a workshop on “How to Recognize and Respond to Ministry Burnout.” One of her repeated signs is to watch out for “bad theology.” Bad theology is toxic faith. Bad theology or toxic faith sees God as something other than a loving and forgiving eternal being whose primary purpose is to bring wholeness, healing, and forgiveness to all of us. Good theology is trusting that ‘God loves me’ and there is nothing I can do to make God love me more than God loves me this moment and there is nothing that I have ever done that has caused or will cause God cease loving me. God does not put harsh or unhealthy expectations on us; we do a more than adequate job of doing that to ourselves and others. God loves me and cares for me even more than I love and care for myself. This truth is more than I can comprehend so I trust that God really means it. Healthy trust or faith is like a child who rests in his/her mother’s/father’s arms because the child knows, beyond words, understanding or cognition, that all is well. Jesus said, “You must be like little children.” (Matthew 18:3). Toxic faith or bad theology is binding whereas healthy faith and good theology is freeing.

The Tyranny of the Should

I do not like the word or concept of ‘should.’ I will also add others to that list, words such as ‘ought,’ need to,’ ‘have to,’ ‘must,’ etc. Yes, when I was young, I needed those “shoulds”, expectations, and boundaries from my parents, grandparents, and people whom I trusted. They told me what I “should” and “should not” be doing and I trusted them so I tried, as best I could, to be obedient. However, I am now an adult and I no longer want to have others ‘shoulds’ imposed on me. I will decide for myself if I ‘should’ or “should not.” A ‘should’ is an expectation. It may be an expectation that others are seeking to impose on me, or it may be one that I have put on myself. Expectations are necessary in my life, but they may also become an unnecessary burden. I want to be thoughtful and sufficiently aware of myself, others, and God that I intentionally choose what “shoulds” I accept. “German psychoanalyst Karen Horney (1885-1952) had a phrase for this: ‘the tyranny of the should.’ She viewed shoulds as dividing our personalities into two selves: an ideal self and a real self. When we do not live up to the ideal self, we are split, and our inner critic comes out.” (Wikipedia) I recall reading Karen Horney in college and discovering all my “shoulds.” That was a significant waking up time for me, my “shoulds” and silencing all my critical voices (which are still not all as silent as I would like). I want to be careful with any of the shoulds because they can be life-giving, or they may be life-shrinking and defeating.

God's Gift of Loving Peace

My image of a peaceful relationship with God is an image of a child who has returned from school with a low grade on an exam. The child’s parents hug the child, kiss the child on the head and say, “We love you so go on outside and play.” There is no scolding, berating, talks about ‘doing better’, etc. There is no punishment. The child knows and trusts the parents love and this motivated the child to want to do better. ‘Wanting to do better’ is a healthier motivation than fear. Perhaps the child does better on the next exam or maybe the child continues to make something less than perfection. The parents love for their child is not dependent on the child’s grades. The child can live peacefully knowing that he/she is loved—no strings attached. God loves us because that is the nature of God and not because we have ever earned or deserve God’s love. There is nothing I can do that will cause God to love me more than I am loved this moment and there is nothing I might do that will cause God to love me any less than I am loved by God at this moment. Whew, what a relief. This is the reality that motivated me to say to folks, “You are already loved by God so, stop working so hard at it; rather, accept it, live in it with God’s gift of loving peace.”

Polonius and the Future

I have been asked what I thought about the future of education, therapy, church, etc. Part of my response has been that if we are going to see the future possibilities, we will need to silence the ‘Polonius’ type of voice within each of us. Polonius was not able to think beyond himself. Polonius is a character in Shakespeare’s play, HAMLET (thank you High School English literature class, which I did not appreciate during my High School ‘stupid’ period of mental development). Polonius is a counselor who seems to lack the ability to see beyond himself. Dr. James Hollis, in his book, LIVING BETWEEN WORLDS, describes Polonius as “the ridiculous old man full of cliches and pomposity.” (pg. 79). Whatever the future brings, it will not be a remake of the past as a “Polonius” may think. We will need a new way of thinking. I graduated from High School in 1959 and I did not imagine cell phones, computers, electric automobiles, microwaves, etc. I have frequently laughed as I thought how my grandparents, who died in the early 1980’s, would have responded if I said to them that I needed to get my phone, put it in my pocket and take it with me to the grocery store. The future of education, therapy, church, etc., will require a new way of thinking and imagining. The old way of Polonius and his thinking will not carry us into the future.

Ornery Okie

Two of my colleagues at the Interfaith Counseling Center gave me a new moniker, “Ornery Okie.” Thanks Lisa and Jennifer. I will own that moniker. My parents and grandparents told me that I was a strong-willed and independent child. They report that I would often say, “No, I’ll do it my way.” Of course, I own the “Okie” title as I am from Norman, Oklahoma, and a life-long fan of the OU football “Sooners” team. When I graduated from Norman High School I went to Oklahoma Baptist University in Shawnee, Oklahoma, where, you might say, my orneriness continued. My folks were from Shawnee, Oklahoma, as were all my grandparents. My parents were married in Shawnee’s Immanuel Baptist Church where they were Sunday School teachers and Dad was a deacon. My Granny, mother’s mother, was a charter member of the Immanuel Baptist Church. So, what did I do when I went to Shawnee to attend Oklahoma Baptist University? I joined the First Baptist Church of Shawnee, Oklahoma, and not the Immanuel Baptist Church. Why? Because I did not want to be known as Russell and Irene’s son or Granny’s grandson. I wanted to be known for who I am. Ornery? Yeah, Lisa and Jennifer are correct. So, I will own the “Ornery Okie” moniker. Sometimes the phrase or moniker your friends put on you is more accurate than you may realize.

A Perfect Saturday and Sunday Morning

Thanks to Lisa for the gift of a book about books. A perfect Saturday and Sunday morning involve a book or books, a cup of Earl Grey with a splash of honey, a dark and silent house before sunrise, a lamp beside a favorite chair and something to read. This weekend I am permitted to travel with Madeleine Engle’s The Irrational Season through the Church seasons and ponder the question Do I Stay Christian? with Brian McLarin, both of which I recommend. Recommending books, when not asked for, is called “Book Bossy” by Anne Bogel in her delightful read, I’D Rather Be Reading, which I recommend, thanks to Lisa’s gift. The weather does not make for a perfect Saturday and Sunday morning, at least not for me on this weekend. A bonus is the reality that both the Kentucky “Wildcats” and the Oklahoma “Sooners” won their football games. Now really, can it get any better than this?

The Planes, Buses and Jesus

I read about a Governor who flew a couple of planes full of immigrants to another state in the east. This Governor is not the only Governor who has engaged in this type of activity. I am angry. Such action is unconscionable if not evil. I can envision Satan being overjoyed. The “slavery spirit” that sees people who are not like me, i.e., white nationalist Americas, preferable in the upper social classes or at least in the middle class, is unacceptable. It is a spirit of fear and hatred that fuels the attitude that ‘those who have the power can do as they please.’ This “spirit of slavery” is clearly alive, operative, and public without shame today. The “spirit of slavery” deprives others of their dignity. The “spirit of slavery” refused to treat others as a child of GOD. The Biblical truth is everyone, regardless of their skin color or national origin, carries the image and likeness of GOD. Jesus said “…Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it to me.” (Matthew 25:40, KJV). The Governors, as well as the people who support him, are saying to Jesus, “Get on those planes and buses and get out of our State because we don’t want you.”

How To Do Our Ministry Has Changed

This recent pandemic caused us to think about how we do our ministry. The Interfaith Counseling Center has a building. The COVID pandemic caused us to 'move' out of our facility for our ministry. For us that meant Teletherapy. As a result of these past three years of COVID as well as a new way of thinking, i.e., outside the familiar ‘box,’ we now have “clients” not only in Lexington and central Kentucky but, also, throughout Kentucky, for example Morehead, Somerset, Hopkinsville, Louisville, etc. In addition, we have had clients who have moved and asked if they could continue so we also have clients who live in North Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, Ohio, Florida, and Texas. Because of international work with missionaries, we also have clients in Europe and Africa. At least one half of our clients now use teletherapy. With apologies to the movie, “Field of Dreams,” it is no longer true that if you build it or program it, they will come. In another movie, “The Graduate,” Mr. McGuire was suggesting to Benjamin Braddock, played by Dustin Hoffman, that the future of making money and a career was in the plastic industry. I think Mr. McGuire was say that today, i.e., 2022 and beyond, the future is through cyberspace. I believe the future of any ministry will involve significant cyberspace. I am grateful that God has pushed us at the Interfaith Counseling Center into a new way of thinking (which was neither easy, pleasant nor comfortable) and thereby is using us to help fulfill the Great Commission of sharing His Gospel to the furthermost parts of the world. Who could have imagined five years ago?

Why Won't Jesus Entrust Himself To Us?

In John’s gospel, Jesus’ first “miracle” was turning water into wine so the wedding celebration could continue. The second reported incident was cleansing the Temple of the money changers and sellers of animals. The money changers and animal sellers were doing the Temple a service by providing money that did not have the Roman emperor on the face, i.e., no graven images, and animals for the sacrificial requirements. Although John’s gospel reports that many believed in him, John’s gospel also says that Jesus would not entrust himself to them, (John 2:24, NRSV). John’s gospel reports that Jesus went from a joyous, wine drinking, party to chasing out the merchandise sellers at the Temple. A stark contrast in Jesus’ behavior. We have always had a challenging time figuring out exactly who Jesus was/is. So, what would Jesus be doing today? Would he be partying Saturday evening and then disrupting our Church services on Sunday morning? Kind of sounds like it, according to John’s gospel. Why would Jesus not “entrust” himself to us? Jesus knew that our beliefs, and even our worship practices, could be more about us and our preferences or likes and dislikes then about Jesus. There is always the temptation to make Jesus into who we want Him to be rather than accepting Him as He reveals Himself and then, following Him as He is in the Gospels. A Jesus follower or just a believer?

Unity rather than Uniformity

My great desire is for unity, not uniformity. When I was considering doing an advanced degree, a professor recommended that I attend a school that was not Baptist. He said that I was raised and taught as a Baptist, and I needed someone who would challenge my “Baptist beliefs.” My Baptist beliefs can be described as my “imbedded theology” or “what mama and them taught me.” So, I ended up in a school of another denomination. I valued and respected the folks I knew from that other denomination even though I did not know much about their history or beliefs. I enrolled and, sure enough, there were times when I would share my thoughts and beliefs and someone would ask, “Rick, where did you get that interpretation of those verses? That is not how I interpret them.” In those gentle but challenging questions and relationships, my learning and spiritual maturity began to deepen. I began to grow more deeply in the spiritual life rather than more isolated with my imbedded beliefs. Uniformity may look like certainty, and it is our ego nature to want the security of certainty. Our spiritual nature however values the questions, more than certainty. If I have no questions and everything is certain, then why would I need faith? I am grateful for that wise professor’s guidance. There is an enormous difference between unity and uniformity.

Eastern Kentucky Flooding and Coal Companies

The floods in eastern Kentucky have been devastating. People have lost everything. That is beyond my imagination. I am wonderfully amazed to read and see all the volunteers who have come to help. They have helped in so many ways. I am also amazed how people have responded with their gifts and money. Unfortunately, I am aware of a missing piece. Where are the coal companies with their big trucks and heavy machinery as well as volunteers and money to help the families in eastern Kentucky? The coal companies are responsible not only the way they have treated, or shall I write abused, the beautiful mountains and streams but, also, the people of eastern Kentucky. Now that there is a national tragedy, they seem absent. What ethic is it that says I will take money from your resources and leave you with the consequences. You may pretend to care but you cannot pretend to show up. I hope that I am wrong, and the television and newspapers have just not shown pictures of your heavy equipment. Come on coal companies, show up!

The Blinding Passions

Evagrius Ponticus was a 4th century hermit/monk. One of his teachings related to the eight passions or energies. Those were: gluttony, lust, greed, sadness/depression, anger, acedia (wants immediate results), vain glory, and pride. He did not call these energies sin. He called them passions or energies and what they do is blind us to reality. They blind us to the reality of our life, God’s presence, and God’s leading. Perhaps Paul had such in mind when he wrote I Corinthians 13:12, “We see through a glass darkly….” For example, we cannot see ourselves realistically or what God is doing because we have been blinded by our greed. I use greed as my example because the early Church fathers and mothers believed that the original sin was greed. Adam and Eve (humankind) wanted more than God gave them. They wanted more than they needed = greed. Jesus warned about the blind leading the blind (Matthew 15:14). We can be blinded by any, or many, of these passions or energies and not realize that we have become blinded. I pray for government and church leaders, as well as families, because it is so easy to become blinded by any of these passions and not realize it. Unfortunately, many of these passions are socially approved. That is an indictment of our society and culture. We do not need the blind leading the blind.

59 Years

Judy and I have been married 59 years on August 16th. We met at Oklahoma Baptist University. I was one year ahead of her. She came to OBU to study Business and Religious Education. She had in mind that she might become a Church Religious Educator and Administrator. She also was musically talented with voice and piano. I came to study Psychology and Philosophy. We met during TWIRP week. TWIRP stood for “the woman is requested to pay.” TWIRP weeks was an annual week at OBU. She asked me to go to the movies with her. We saw Gone With The Wind at the Hornbeck theatre in Shawnee, Oklahoma. We were ‘smitten’ with each other. We later confessed that we had been watching each other for awhile. Our family backgrounds were alike, and our future goals were similar. Our values, attitudes, behaviors, expectations were almost identical. We were the oldest of siblings and, therefore, very responsible for ourselves. We were both diligent students. We were both elected as officers in the Baptist Student Union by the OBU student body. We were both interested in missions. Judy did a summer with the Home Mission Board on the Papago Indian reservation in Arizona. In August, Judy and I went to Glorieta Baptist Assemble grounds in New Mexico for Student week. During that week, we drove to the Pecos Monastery where we were engaged. We were married on August 16, 1963. It has been such a wonderful relationship that we were meant for each other. It continues to be a wonderful journey together. Thanks be to God.

Tranquility, Gentleness and Strength

St. John of the Cross says that every quality or virtue which God’s Spirit really produces in a person’s soul has three distinguishing characters, which are tranquility, gentleness, and strength. Fuss, feverishness, anxiety, intensity, intolerance, instability, pessimism … every kind of hurry and worry are not evidence of tranquility, gentleness, and/or strength. If we desire a simple test of the quality of our spiritual life, a consideration of the tranquility, gentleness, and strength with which we deal with the circumstances of our outward life will serve us as evidence of our spiritual maturity. No cheapening sense of hurry, or nervous anxiety about success. The actions of those whose lives are given to the Spirit has in it something of the leisure of Eternity. In the spiritual life it is important to get our timing right. Otherwise, we tend to forget that God, who is greater than our heart, is greater than our job too. (Thanks for this insight to Emilie Griffin. Evelyn Underhill, Essential Writings. [Maryknoll, New York: Orbis Books. 2003]).

60 YEARS AGO

On August 12, 1962, I was Ordained to the Gospel Ministry. I was 20 years old. I had finished my sophomore year at Oklahoma Baptist University. I was Pastor of the Payne Baptist Church in Payne, Oklahoma, which was a Sunday only responsibility. My home church, First Baptist Church, Norman, Oklahoma, and the Payne Baptist Church had a joint ordination service. I hope I have lived up to the expectations of all those good friends and family. Thanks be to God.

Four Great Insights

Galileo taught us that we are not the center of the universe. Our tiny planet orbits around the sun. We are not the center of the universe as our egos want us to believe. We also share a heritage with all animals. We thank you Charles Darwin. We share our ancestry with the animals, and we do best when we care for all animals, plants, water, air, etc. We are not even in control of our thoughts and feelings as much as we think. We thank you Sigmond Freud and Carl Jung. There are those unconscious and archetypical energies in our subconscious and unconscious that are powerful influencers on our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors. We are also created in the image of GOD who not only knows but, also, loves us. We thank you Jesus. God loves us not because of what we have done or will do but because of who God is. We are an unusual mix of our common humanity.

Interfaith (cont'd again)

I have recently read two Interfaith books I recommend. The first is Brian McLaren’s book, WHY DID JESUS, MOSES, THE BUDDHA, AND MOHAMMED CROSS THE ROAD? McLaren is a former English Professor turned church planter. His book indicates that we can recognize God’s truth in other languages, times and cultures and still own our own heritage and unique faith. The second is Roger Walsh’s book, ESSENTIAL SPIRITUALITY. Walsh is an Australian Professor of Psychiatry Philosophy and Anthropology. Walsh’s book suggests seven principles of spiritual growth and describes how the major “religions” seem to be saying similar things. I believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the incarnated son of GOD and God’s greatest revelation. That is why I pray lectio divinia from the gospels every morning. Jesus prayed that “All would be one.” and “May they be brought to complete unity” John 17:21 & 23. Unity, not uniformity is God’s desire. We are all one in God more than we may realize. Thanks be to God

Interfaith (cont'd)

Our center’s name is Interfaith Counseling Center. I was not present when the former Board and whomever elsewhere decided upon that name. Nevertheless, I like the name and what it means. Sometime in the mid-1980’s I began to see a Spiritual Director; He was Father Hank Kenney, a Jesuit Priest. Early in our time together I recall saying that I was comfortable being a Baptist (that has changed but onto my Interfaith point) and I did not want to be a Roman Catholic. He laughed, as was his manner, and replied. “My purpose is to make you a better Jesus Follower and that may mean a better Baptist. I pray, he continued, that from our time together, the Holy Spirit will make me a better Jesus Follower and a better Catholic Priest.” His attitude was an interfaith gift.

Interfaith

My imbedded theology (imbedded = what I learned as a child or what mama and them taught me) was that anyone who did not believe as I believed, a “Baptist” Christian, needed to be converted. My introduction to Interfaith dialogue came with an invitation from my friend, Dr. John Parks. He was gathering a group of folks from various faith groups so we could discuss our faiths with the goal of mutual understanding, not conversion. In the mid-1980’s I joined. We met in someone’s home without drinks, snacks, etc. We met each month for one and one-half hours. We arrived and left on time without a lot of private conversations. We would choose a topic for each month such as Holy Scriptures, sin, redemption, life after death, etc. We were Christian, (Roman Catholic, Orthodox and Protestant) as well as Muslim, Buddhist, Hindus, Bahai, Confucian, Jainism, etc. We met for several years. My world expanded from these Interfaith conversations. I learned to love and care about these persons. Several of them became dear friends. Hanging in the Counseling Center is a poster, “Signs of Inner Peace” that was gifted to me by Brother Don, a Buddhist monk, from our group. Most importantly I learned to love and respect them as well as their faith, religious beliefs, culture, language, Holy Books, etc. and they loved and respected me and my faith.

Calming the Mind

Therapists have called our mind’s activity “The Monkey Mind.” The mind, like monkeys, jumps from one limb to another while chattering all the time. Freud wrote somewhere that we are not even master in our own house (mind), but that we must remain content with the scraps of information about what is going on unconsciously in our minds. How can I calm my mind, especially this monkey mind? Writers such as Roger Walsh in ESSENTIAL SPIRITUALITY recommends that we do one thing at a time. The self-discipline of concentration will help to calm one’s mind. I like that prescription of concentration and one thing at a time. I try not to be a multi-tasker because I know that I will eventually mess up whatever I am doing or trying to do. Multi-tasking usually has to do with being in a hurry. If I do not have the necessary time to do something correctly and with my full attention the first time, how will I find the necessary time to correct the mistakes I made or said? One thing at a time and with my full attention, is surprisingly good advice and a wonderful prescription for calming one’s mind.

Faith Is Not Bargaining

Faith is trusting God regardless of the outcome. When a person says, “I am trusting God for ___________.” That is not faith, that is bargaining. I do not see any justification in scriptures that we have Biblical permission to name this attitude, faith. Faith is when Jesus said “…yet not what I want but what you want.” (Matthew 26:39, NRSV). Paul’s message regarding his faith testimony is “I have learned to be content with whatever I have.” (Philippians 4:11, NRSV). I have heard many testimonies in which God has blessed a person’s faith with wonderful experiences or results. I do not doubt that is true. I wish, however, we also heard testimonies in which the person said they have faith in God and either not much happened or things in their life deteriorated, yet they still had faith in God. That is also true. It seems to me that the lesson from the Psalms is to trust God regardless of the circumstances. A person’s faith in God is not dependent upon specific results of faith. Genuine faith does not attach itself to any outcome. Faith just is. Faith is not bargaining.

What Is a Contemplative?

In my practice at The Interfaith Counseling Center, I often collaborate with a person as a spiritual director or counselor. The person often asks if I am a contemplative. Before I can answer, I ask them about their idea of a contemplative. They often describe someone who spends hours in daily prayer and has mystic experiences. I do not fit that description. I do, however, spend time each morning in prayer and scripture reading. When I read the Bible and other ‘spiritual’ books, I try to ask myself the question, “What is God wanting me to learn and apply from this reading?” This question is like the Lectio Divina practice. I read not only for understanding but, also, so the scriptures can read me. I am never certain what makes something a mystical experience. Is sitting on the porch and listening to the birds singing a mystical experience? Maybe Yes or maybe No. In a recent reading of Bede Griffiths autobiography, I highlighted his definition of contemplation because I like it. “Contemplation is a habit of mind which enables the soul to keep in a state of recollection in the presence of God whatever may be the work with which we are occupied” (The Golden String, An Autobiography, Bede Griffiths. page 148.) Whatever a person may be doing, to be aware and sensitive to God’s abiding presence is contemplation. If this is true, then perhaps more of us are, or will desire to be, contemplatives.

Gratefulness

I recently spent the day at the Abbey of Gethsemani. I try to go there about once a month. Yesterday was an unusual day. Seventeen of the monks were isolated due to the spread of COVID. The 12:15 and 2:15 prayer services were not held in the Church but in their individual rooms. It was a quiet day. I sat outside in the cool breeze, watching the beautiful white clouds gently moving along and wrote in my journal. My journal writings were primarily about all the events for which I was grateful. Too often I get so busy in the activities of the day as well as thinking and planning about those events that are on my future calendar that I fail to stop, feel the weather, watch the clouds, and give expression of my thanksgiving. As Brother David Steindl-Rast has written, “Happiness does not make us grateful, but gratefulness makes us happy.”

Acceptance

In my more than fifty years of practice as a therapist/counselor, I think the biggest impediment to a person’s wellbeing is their inability to accept what is. We want more than what is reality. We want a bigger house, better job, prettier wife, slimmer husband, smarter children, etc. We refuse to accept the limitations of getting older. In the 1960’s William Glasser developed a type of therapy called Reality Therapy. Reality therapy is about accepting what is. Our Asian colleagues who write about therapy, wellbeing, health, etc. teach us about not being overly attached to our expectations. We expect our house to be bigger and have a better job, prettier wife, slimier husband as well as smarter children, etc. and it is these expectations that cause us suffering, anxiety, stress, worry, depression, confusion, etc. This does not mean that we cannot have goals; it means that they need to be accepting of our real-life situation. Expectations rather than acceptance create a lot of discomfort in and among us. I have a friend whose response, usually with a smile, to whatever may be happening is “Well, it is what it is.” I think it is not unusual that he is one of the most contented and happy people that I know. He is also one of those persons that other’s desire to be around.

The Garden of Eden Tree of Good and Evil

It seems to me when God did not want Adam and Eve to eat from the tree of good and evil, it was not that God did not want them/us to become knowledgeable but, it was that God knew we would not be able to manage such knowledge of good and evil. God knew with this knowledge we would be able to make a drug such as OxyContin, to relieve significant pain but, also, God knew that we would not be able to manage that knowledge, and some of us would get addicted and use the medicine for evil purposes. God knew we would discover minerals in the earth, such as coal, which could keep us warm in the winter and fire our industries. God seems to have known that we would not have been able to manage this knowledge and we would end up destroying God’s created earth to get more than we needed. We would want more of it, which is also known as greed. We would discover that coal could ‘make’ money and often more money than we really needed. So, it seems to me that we now possess the knowledge of good and evil, but we are not able to manage such knowledge very well. The knowledge of good and evil has become both a blessing and a curse or both good and evil for us.

Be Nice

One of the mantras with which I grew up was “be nice.” I was taught to be nice by folks that I loved and who loved me. Since I wanted to please them, I wanted to be nice. They wanted what was best for me which included being thought of as a nice person. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be nice. However, as I study the gospels, I learn that Jesus was not always a nice person. Jesus was not nice to his mother and brothers who came to talk with him (Matthew 12:46-50). He implied that a woman from Canaan was like a ‘dog.’ She was “nice enough”, however. to challenge him and therefore received healing (Matthew 15:21-28). He said to one of his most faithful followers, Peter, that his thoughts were Satanic (Matthew 16: 21-23). That was not nice. Jesus did not even act nice at Church (Matthew 21:12-13). He called the religious leaders of his day by some names that were not nice (Matthew 23:1-36). I am not suggesting that we need to be intentionally mean-spirited, but sometimes telling the truth is not “nice.” I have a picture of a rag doll being put through an old fashion washing machine ringer and the wording says, “The truth will set you free but first it will make you miserable.” One of my concerns is that it seems the goal of too many Jesus followers as well as churches is--“be nice.”

It Really Is About the Heart

The Interfaith Counseling Center has four of the most talented and wonderfully gifted Therapists. A group of women in a Bible Study, asked how we were able to find and keep such great Therapists. My response was that we looked for individuals who had a genuine heart for others, especially those individuals who were struggling with stress, anxiety, sadness, conflict, etc. We also looked for individuals who wanted to be continual students rather than those who thought they already knew all they needed to know. At our Center, we can teach and help each other how to help someone who is struggling with these issues in their personal life, their marriage, at work or wherever these issues arise. What we cannot teach is the “heart” issue. We cannot teach someone to care for others genuinely and lovingly. That is a gift from God which must be continually nurtured. Just as Jesus “called” the Apostles, I believe God “called” the Therapists at the Interfaith Counseling Center and I am grateful that God included me. It really is about the heart; more than skills, knowledge, and techniques, even though these are important, they are not the most significant. We ask potential Therapists, "Do you have a heart for individuals and couples who are struggling?"

I Choose to Believe that Someone, other than me, is in Charge

What if Bobby, my brother, had not been developmentally disabled due to a birth accident, would we have moved to Norman where the University of Oklahoma had a special education class? Would I have met Dr. Hallock, Pastor of First Baptist Church? What if I had married my High School girl friend, would I have ever gone to OBU? What if Dr. Hallock had not taken me to OBU and introduced me to President Scales, would I have gone to Baylor as I was thinking? What if Judy had not invited me to the movie during ‘twirp’ (the woman is requested to pay) week, would I have courted and married her? Would there ever have been a Grant, our son? What if I had not been friends with Mike and gone to his wedding in Kentucky, would I have gone to Golden Gate Seminary as I was thinking? If I had not gone to Southern Seminary, would I have even known Dr. Oates and the field of Pastoral Care and Counseling, or would Judy have worked for him? Would I have ever worked for the Department of Child Welfare if Dr. Oates had not taken me to meet the Executive Director of the Kentucky Council of Churches about a Chaplain’s position. If I had never worked for the Department of Child Welfare, would we have lived in Lexington? If we had not lived in Lexington, would we have ever found the Trinity Baptist Church? If the Governor did not have plans to close the smaller facilities, would I have ever written a job description for Family Life Minister and asked our Pastor of Trinity Baptist Church to help me find a Church? If Dr. Oates had not recommended that I pursue a Doctor of Ministry degree at Lexington Theological Seminary, would I have ever pursued and earned that D.Min. degree? If one of the LTS professors had not asked me to become a practicum supervisor at LTS, would I have ever become the Chaplain and an Instructor at LTS? If Trinity’s Pastor had not died, would I have ever been a Pastor? If I had not read a newspaper article about spiritual direction and inquired about it, would I have even met and become friends with a Jesuit Priest? If I had not known that Priest, would I have even known about the Abbey of Gethsemane and become friends with several of their Monks? If I had not known that Jesuit Priest and the monks at the Abbey, would I have ever studied the field of spiritual formation? If I had not known a friend at Calvary Baptist Church, would they have ever telephoned me about the possibility of working with the Interfaith Counseling Center? If I had not met and become friends with the new President of BSK, would he have ever thought of me as an Adjunct Professor teaching Spiritual Formation at the new Baptist Seminary of Kentucky? If Judy had not known the youth minister at Wetumka, Oklahoma, would we have been asked by the Southern Baptist Foreign Mission Board to go to Yemen. If we had not been involved with Baptist missions, would we have been asked to become involved with CBF’s Member Care ministry with their Global Missions. I choose to believe that someone, other than me, is in charge and I call that someone, God.

Discernment: What's Important and What's Not

In today’s mail we received four letters. The envelopes were marked as IMPORTANT. The four envelopes contained four letters and some other odd stuff. The letters were clear that if we did not send money to help the fight against some disease people were going to suffer. I shredded all the letters, even the one marked with $15 circled as an anticipated donation. I call this junk mail and I am not pleased with its arrival in our mailbox. At least it provides a degree of job security for our mailperson. I hope the agencies paid their fair share of the postal expense. This junk mail reminds me that in life there are many things for which we do not need to give much attention. Discernment means knowing what is important and what is not.

Power as a Test of Character

If you have been reading my blogs, you will know that I am grieved with the Supreme Court’s recent decisions about gun control and abortion. I am also grieved that the Senate would not permit a hearing for a potential member of the Supreme Court nominated by President Obama. As a result, we now have three members of the Court appointed by a President who did not have the popular votes in his election. I am grieved, not only by the Court’s decision but, also, by the manipulation of the government’s process by powerful individuals who appear to value political party and power over the will of the people. National surveys, by reputable survey agencies, have indicated that a majority of the American people did not want to see Roe vs. Wade overturned and they favored significant control over the availability of guns, especially assault rifles. I keep thinking about Machiavellian principles in which those with power will do anything they can to keep their power. The news is reporting the discrepancy of two Justices who said one thing during their confirmation hearings and another when faced with the Roe vs. Wade decision. I am saddened and concerned. Google took me to the following quote from Abraham Lincoln, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”

Too Much of a Good Thing

We have a daisy plant. It was beautiful and healthy. The instructions said the dirt needed to be kept damp. I over-watered the plant so that it sat in water for several days. Its leaves began to droop and looked pitiful. I have now repotted the plant and placed it in a pot that has a hole in the bottom so any excess water can drain away. Will it recover? I do not know. It still looks pitiful and weak. I suppose the moral is that even a good thing can be overdone. Too much of a good thing may not be healthy.

Be Ye Perfect

Jesus said that we were to be perfect as our heavenly Father (Matthew 5:48). Perfection is a high standard, especially if we thank of perfection as a list of what to do and what not to do. Such a list is often called sins of commission and sins of omission. I do not think that is what Jesus meant. Jesus’ early followers thought of perfection in terms of Jesus’ great commandment. First, we are love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and mind and the second is to love our neighbor as ourselves. (Matthew 22:36-39). Sin is falling short of this commandment. We can fall short in so many ways by our attitude and/or behaviors. Greed and gluttony keep us from sharing the bountiful gifts God has given us. Acedia and sloth keep us from following through with our good intentions. Vainglory and pride keep us focused on ourselves rather than our neighbors. Lust causes us to use people rather than respectfully love them. We can become so focused on our differences such as: economics, education, race, sexual orientation, religious denominations, etc. that we diminish or cease loving God and our neighbors. We see others as we have been conditioned to see them, rather than see others as God sees them. I think God’s goal for us is to see and treat God, all neighbors and ourselves with love. With this ‘love standard’ as perfection, it seems we have a long way to go in loving God and loving our neighbor as ourselves.

When Does Life Begin or Cease?

Abortion is certainly on our legislator’s agenda in many states and our national leaders. The question about abortion seems to be when does life begin. I believe the Bible teaches that life begins, as well as ceases, when the child or individual begins to breathe or stops breathing. (Ecclesiastes 12:7 and Job 12:10; 34:14) In the creation story, God breathed into the human creation and the human became a living soul (Genesis 2:7). I do not believe abortion is to be a birth control option. I do, however, believe that a woman, her family, physician, and religious beliefs should aid her/them in that decision, not state or national government. When an abortion is chosen it needs to be done in a hospital under careful medical attention. If a woman and her family choose to birth and keep a child who is developmentally and/or physically disabled, I think the state and national resources need to be available to her and her family as they raise that child because it is going to be a demanding situation, i.e., financially, emotionally, socially, etc., throughout the child’s life.

Same Sex Attraction

In the late 1970’s and 80’s, I was ambivalent about same-sex attraction. I did not know what I thought and believed. Since that time, I have had the opportunity and privilege of sitting in the counseling room with people who were struggling with their sexual orientation. Many of these folks I have come to appreciate, respect, and admire for their honesty. They have evolved my thinking and beliefs. I have officiated at the wedding of two men whom I respect. I felt good about their relationship as well as their sense of God’s leading and was honored to officiate their wedding and celebrate their marriage. I wish I could go back and retrieve comments I made in the past about same-sex attraction. I would say things much differently today. I thank God for guiding me in my evolving thoughts and beliefs. I sometimes wonder if those who have negative thoughts and beliefs about same-sex attraction, have ever really gotten to know someone who has struggled with his/her sexuality. I fear that it is too easy to be judgmental about what or whom we do not know.

Lord, Where Is Your Sanctuary?

It is “Church-time” on a cool, blue-skyed, early summer Sunday morning. My neighbor is mowing her grass, except the grass is not hers any more than my grass is mine. When my neighbor and I are gone, the grass will still be here. Another neighbor has just returned from a run and is now doing her yogi stretches as we make small talk about the beauty of the morning. I sit on the porch swing and read Mary Oliver’s UPSTREAM. I hear the birds chirping or perhaps they are making small talk as my neighbor and me. A bright red cardinal sits and sings from the dogwood tree—bright red among the green leaves—and both so very much alive. The porch is the place of pots full of geraniums, daisies, petunias, begonias, spider plants, and peace lilies. All of this is alive as the Cardinal who has now been joined by the chirping and singing of sparrows. Lord, where is Your sanctuary?

Interfaith Dialogue

Not long ago I read The Book of Joy. I recommend it. Desmond Tutu an Archbishop in the Episcopal Church traveled to India to help celebrate the Dalai Lama’s 80th birthday. The book describes their days and conversations around the topic of creating lasting happiness in a changing world. A Christian and a Buddhist, good and respectful friends in search of joy. Too often we think of Interfaith dialogue in terms of convincing the other to join us in our beliefs and practices. There was no hint of conversion between these two strong men of faith. This competitive attitude of “us” against “them” is often about who is right and who is wrong. One of the primary reasons that I am a Christian is that I was born into and raised in a Christian culture. Who might I have become if I had been born elsewhere? I believe there are truths of God in all our religions as well as falsehood of humanity in all religions. Perhaps, God’s plan is for us to respect each other sufficiently so that we can learn from one another without diminishing our beliefs but, also, learning about other’s beliefs and experiences with God. I suspect God is bigger than any of our “religions.”

Awful Silence

Thomas Merton, when writing about war, nuclear arms, and violence in the 1960’s, was disturbed by the “awful silence and apathy on the part of Catholics, clergy, hierarchy, and lay people.” (Merton, Man of Dialogue. Hillis. Pg. 166). I am disturbed by the awful silence and apathy on the part of Christians, clergy, hierarchy, and lay people regarding the serious issues affecting our world. I refer to issues such as violence; gun control; environmental destruction; abortion, the disparity between the wealthy and poor, individuals as well as nations; lack of adequate and affordable access to health care; treatment of women; treatment of same sex individuals and couples and the list of issues continues as evidenced by the news headlines. We are in a dysfunctional system. The system is working well for many, but not so well for others. The one’s for whom it is working have the authority, power, and ability to stay separated and unconcerned to keep it working for them. This is Machiavellian politics, which is get power and then, do anything to stay in power. I do not think this is good politics; it is certainly not Christian. Christian means being a follower of Jesus. The question is an old question that we seem to have ceased asking, “What would Jesus do?” Jesus’ Kingdom of God is not a dysfunctional system. It functions for all, especially the least of those among us (Matthew 25). We talk about being Christians and having a Christian nation, but as I tell my therapy clients, “Read the behavior and you will learn the truth.”

Walk Beside as Equals and Not Behind

Recently I observed a couple walking together except the wife (I assumed she was the wife) was walking behind. I thought that is a “picture” of Southern Baptists. Women are to walk behind the men. There is a significant lack of equality, and the Bible is used to teach and support such an idea, thought or theology. Often the scriptures that are used are from Paul’s letters. Paul’s letters were written to specific congregations, most of whom had unique or specific issues with which they were dealing. I am not convinced that we are to make Paul’s letters to be universal applications for all congregations. I would rather take Jesus’ teachings as my universal teachings. Jesus said to treat others as you want to be treated. God gave the message of Jesus’ resurrection to three women and told them to go tell the men. God also gave them instructions to tell the men where they would find Jesus. God’s trusting those women with the significant message of the resurrection settles the issue for me. Women are not to be treated as second class Christians. If God calls a woman to a leadership position, even an Ordained position in the Church, then let us not get in God’s way.

I Am Their Leader, Which Way Did They Go?

Quietism is the name given to a set of beliefs that rose in popularity in France, Italy, and Spain during the late 1670s and 1680s, particularly associated with the writings of the Spanish mystic Miguel de Molinos, Madame Guyon, and which were condemned as heresy in 1687. It is the belief and practice that there is not a lot that I need to do to help bring God’s Kingdom to earth except to pray. Quietism does not ask much of me. I hear Quietism often in the counseling room and in Churches, although I am sure they have never heard of Quietism. The clients and Churches say that they are praying and waiting on God to act. I have nothing against praying and waiting on God because I fear too often, we run ahead of God. I do, however, recall that in many of Jesus’ miracles, he asked the recipients or friends to do something first. He asked the servants to fill the water pots at the wedding in Cana of Galilee. He put mud in the blind man’s eyes and told him to wash. Elisha told Naaman to dunk himself in the Jordan River if he would be clean of his leprosy. I believe God usually asks us to do something in addition to praying and waiting. I think the scriptures teach us that we are in a mutual relationship with God. I agree with those who say that God’s hands and feet are our hands and feet. I do my part and God does God’s part. I believe that the Churches and political leaders must do their parts. The political leaders must be talking and acting toward legislation that deals with the contemporary issue. The Churches must be talking about the issues of today. Surely the Bible has something to say about how we deal with each other and our issues. I fear that many Churches and Pulpits have lost their voices; they are quiet. I suspect they may have lost their voice because they are fearful of upsetting some members. I have a friend who had a baseball cap with two bills facing different directions and the writing on the ballcap said, "I am their leader; which way did they go?" I think many of our Political and Church leaders are wearing that ballcap.

Let's Have Strict Gun Controls

When I was in grade school, my dad purchased a BB rifle for me. He had me shoot at bottles in the back yard when he was beside me. As I grew older, he purchased a single shot 22 rifle for me, and we would go rabbit and squirrel hunting. Since the rabbits and squirrels, were safe from me and my single shot 22 rifle, I asked Dad for either a 410 shotgun or a rifle that would shoot more than one bullet at a time. Dad said, “No” that any sportsman had to give the animals a fair chance. I understand the desire for a sportsman type of rifle, although I have long ago given away my guns. I do not understand the desire or need for a military type of weapon. Those type of guns are designed for the purpose of killing people. I am an advocate for strict gun control. Those military type weapons do not belong in the hands and/or homes of citizens. They need to be restricted to the military and law enforcement personnel. It is guns that kill people. Gun advocates say it is the mentally ill who kill people. However, if a mentally ill person cannot get a gun, he/she is not going to kill people, such as entering a grade school and killing children and teachers. It is past time for our leaders to stand up and enact strict gun controls.

The Southern Baptists are in Trouble

The Southern Baptist Convention is in trouble. They have denied, avoided and hidden sexual abuse by some Baptist clergy and Conventional leaders. It is now becoming known. I urge you to read Russell Moore’s article in Christianity Today. It is insightful. As a former, and recovering, Southern Baptist this grieves me. It grieves me for all the innocent and committed Southern Baptists who will now suffer the consequences of their leaders. It also grieves and angers me because of all who will now choose to stay away from Churches; not just Southern Baptist but all Churches. It angers me because Baptists, like the Catholic Church, in that the leadership chose to cover up their sex abuse scandals. The Apostle John opens his Gospel by stating of Jesus, “In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not (and will not, {Rick’s italics}) overcome it.” (JOHN 1:4-5, RSV). I identify myself as a Jesus-follower, rather than as a member of a specific denomination. Sometimes I even feel uncomfortable with the label of Christian because many who call themselves Christians are not Jesus followers.

Values

My primary values are derived from being a Jesus follower. If there is an issue I ask, “What did Jesus say about the issue?” If Jesus said nothing, then I believe the answer is to follow Jesus’ principal and I believe Jesus’ foundational principal is to love your neighbor as yourself. As a Jesus follower, I do not put the Old Testament writings nor Paul, Peter, John and/or James’s writings on the same level of significance as Jesus. So, “What did Jesus say?” is my standard. He said a great deal about poverty and sharing wealth; caring for the sick and imprisoned; caring for widows and children, especially those without adequate homes and food. I wish our leaders (both government and Church leaders) as well as citizenship would spend more of their energy and decisions about how to create affordable and universal health care; how to release from jails and prisons those who have minor infractions. I also wish our leaders were arguing about the need to build affordable housing and eliminate food deserts in our cities. Jesus was also concerned about the “stranger,” the refugee and immigrants because as a child he was a refugee. Jesus did not say anything about many of the contemporary issues that seem to take so much time and energy from our government and Church leaders. I often wonder if the present debates might not be a diversion so that we would not have to deal with the issues that Jesus said was important?

My "Politics"

It is time for a primary election in Lexington, Kentucky. I am not fond of political ads because I do not believe most of their marketing. If a candidate’s advertising turns negative about their opponent, then I vote for the opponent. If more of us would do that, negative adds would cease. My politics are simple. My generations have all been Democrats. In this day and time, I would be labeled as a liberal democrat. My generations would not have liked that “liberal” label but, they would be pleased that I am registered as a Democrat. I am also a fiscal conservative. They would have liked that. Nevertheless, I hope I am generous. I also inherited the philosophy that there are to be no “professional politicians.” So, if someone has been elected and served their elected time, then I do not vote for them; no “if’s” or “but’s.” Once a candidate has served his or her time in office, they need to go back home and make a living like the rest of us (my grandfather would say “an honest living.”) My politics are simple.

A Shoe and a Sleeping Device

I have an old pair of canvas shoes. My wife says those shoes are worn out. I say that they are only worn in. She says they need to be thrown away. I only wear them outside such as when I do yard work. A few days ago, the sole came off the left shoe while I was mowing. Thanks to Guerilla glue and an overnight setting, they are now working fine. My Physician recently said that I have moderate sleep apnea and I need a CPAP devise. I am not looking forward to adjusting to a sleep aid but, if that is what is required then “Okay, let’s do it.” The reality is that I like old things, especially myself. Some old things are not ready to be tossed; they only need a few repairs along the way. Remember that you are the Gift and you have gifts that all of us need.

The Need for Self-Discipline Continues

One of my least favorite aspects of this aging process relates to food. My metabolism rate seems to have slowed down significantly so that I cannot eat as in previous years without the scales reporting, “Ugh and Oh No.” My Physician says that I would do better if I significantly reduced carbs, sugars, red meat, and salt. Those limits create a significant handicap in my regular eating as well as my snacking, especially evening snacks. My Physician also says that I would do better with vegetables, fruits, fish, etc. and those need to be served in smaller portions. All of this reminds me that self-discipline is something that will be with me through all my life. It is not something that I learned once upon a time and, then I would no longer have to work at it. No, I must continue learning and re-learning self-discipline. I sure wish God would have created me so that my metabolism was such that I could eat what my eyes and mouth desire throughout all my life. But that is not how it is, so the Lord and I are still working on my self-discipline.

Separation of Church and State

I believe in the separation of Church and State. Unnecessary influence is not good for either. As I celebrate First Fruits, Jesus’ Resurrection or Easter I read the scriptures. It is obvious to any unbiased reader of any of the gospels that Jesus was condemned by a combination of both the religious leaders and the government. Pride of authority can easily destroy the quiet and relational leading of God’s Spirit. Hence, my fear of unnecessary relationship or influence between government and church. I am angered when a Church leader, even at the present time in Russia, endorses the military action of his government. I am frustrated when government leaders successfully legislate their religious ideas with the assistance of selected Church leaders. As a recovering Baptist, I know that my religious ancestors came to this country to get away of ‘State Religion.’ I fear that we may be moving closer toward an inappropriate relationship between church and State.

Go Slower, Cover Less Ground

“Go slow, cover less ground.” This is reported to be a quote from Thomas Merton, although I can’t find the reference source. Thomas Merton, or Father Louis as he was known at the Abbey of Gethsemane where he lived, was a Cistercian Monk. His writings were known for their social engagement as well as spiritual formation. I frequently go to the Abbey of Gethsemane for retreats and spiritual conversation. I often wonder where he would say about today’s issues of abortion, gun control, and homosexuality. I am alarmed by the government and Church leaders hurry to deny legitimate abortions, minimize gun controls as well as the rights of homosexuality and transgendered folks. It also bothers me that the government and Church leaders seem to be older, conservative, white and male. For honesty’s sake, “Yes, I am an older, white male.” These characteristics do not represent the make-up of USA citizens. We are a much more diverse population. I wish we had voces of folks like Thomas Merton today, perhaps if we did, we would proceed slower and, in my opinion make wiser decisions.

Marketing God and the Church

For many years I believed that Church marketing was somehow wrong, maybe even sinful. I didn’t like the idea of having to sell God, God’s church, and God’s stuff like it was another brand of laundry soap. It just didn’t seem like the right thing to do. Then the Pastor with whom I was on staff died. He died unexpectedly, and suddenly I became the Interim Pastor. I also inherited his 7 am, 55 second radio spot, on the community’s largest radio station. Truth be told, I enjoyed writing and doing those almost one minute radio spots, a different one for each day. I purposely steered away from the churchy or religious stuff. No daily Bible devotions. I attempted to talk about real stuff like forgetting your shopping list and coming home with interesting groceries on new labels while forgetting the peanut butter and bread. At the end of those spots, I inherited and used the tag line, “Come and see us at the Church and we’ll talk about things like this.” I inherited, and for sixteen years kept going, a wonderful plan for marketing the church. I guess I never thought of those radio spots as marketing the church, but they were. I still don’t write or like daily devotions. I am more comfortable writing about forgetting the grocery list—you know, real live experiences because that’s where God hangs out.

Marriage, Separation, Divorce? What Shall I Do?

You have been married for twenty years and you describe your marriage and yourself as unhappy. You are considering separation and possibly divorce. You have decided to see a therapist. If you were coming to see me, I would want to know what kinds of losses and transitions you have experienced in these past several years. I would ask that question because statistics indicate that most mid-life separations and divorces are often related to losses and transitions that have not been internally processed. Transitions cause some degree of trauma and more transitions = more traumas. Transition traumas take a heavy cost of which most folks are unaware. Transitions costs are often evidenced: physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, sexually, financially, spiritually, etc. Transition traumas are no ‘small matter.’ Unfortunately, we often don’t think of transitions as traumas. One response to trauma is flight. It is the attitude of, “I have to get away because I am unhappy. I want to get away from anything and everyone that reminds me of my situation.” Unfortunately trying to run from our transition traumas doesn’t work because we take the trauma with us—internally. All of us have our transition traumas—they are a part of life. They need to be acknowledged, faced, explored, and ultimately made peace with. They have a lot to teach us. This internal work is much more difficult than adjustment work. Unfortunately, many folks refuse to do this internal work. They remain outwardly ‘okay’ but inwardly they are unhappy, never satisfied, have low-grade anger, and quick to blame others or situations. In a marriage there is no innocent (translated ‘victim’) party. A healthy relationship is a mutual relationship in which (1) we both have internal work to do as well as (2) work on the relationship. When folks refuse to do the internal work, there is usually not much chance of working on the relationship and reconciliation. First, I must be reconciled with myself, which includes all of my life’s history and experiences. Personal reconciliation is always a prerequisite to reconciliation with another.

Happiness = Me and My Shadow

In my work as a psychotherapist I usually hear folks say they are seeking happiness. Usually those folks are looking for a different spouse, job, house, car, etc. in the journey to find happiness. They often blame one of these realities for the fact that they don’t feel happy. I think happiness is an inside job. By inside job, I mean that happiness is to be found within myself. Nobody else and no external things such as a job, house, car, etc. can make me happy. Those things are not unimportant but neither are they as significant as we sometimes want to believe. I suspect there are parts of ourselves and our particular history that we haven’t accepted and with which we haven’t made peace that could be causing us to think we are not happy. Many therapists call those things our “shadows.” I agree. My journey into deeper happiness, and I’ll add the words contentment and peace will involve my acknowledging, accepting, befriending and learning from my shadows.