Acceptance

In my more than fifty years of practice as a therapist/counselor, I think the biggest impediment to a person’s wellbeing is their inability to accept what is. We want more than what is reality. We want a bigger house, better job, prettier wife, slimmer husband, smarter children, etc. We refuse to accept the limitations of getting older. In the 1960’s William Glasser developed a type of therapy called Reality Therapy. Reality therapy is about accepting what is. Our Asian colleagues who write about therapy, wellbeing, health, etc. teach us about not being overly attached to our expectations. We expect our house to be bigger and have a better job, prettier wife, slimier husband as well as smarter children, etc. and it is these expectations that cause us suffering, anxiety, stress, worry, depression, confusion, etc. This does not mean that we cannot have goals; it means that they need to be accepting of our real-life situation. Expectations rather than acceptance create a lot of discomfort in and among us. I have a friend whose response, usually with a smile, to whatever may be happening is “Well, it is what it is.” I think it is not unusual that he is one of the most contented and happy people that I know. He is also one of those persons that other’s desire to be around.