Comparing and Being Never Satisfied

We need to be very careful about comparing ourselves to others. We can always find someone who seems better off than we or worse off. Comparison has no end. Even the brillant Shakespeare knew the dangers of comparing one's self. Corin: And how like you this shepherd’s life, Master Touchstone? Touchstone: Truly, shepherd, in respect of itself, it is a good life; but in respect that it is a shepherd’s life, it is naught. In respect that it is solitary, I like it very well; but in respect that it is private, it is a very vile life. Now in respect it is in the fields, it pleaseth me well; but in respect it is not in the court, it is tedious. As it is a spare life, look you, it fits my humor well; but as there is no more plenty in it, it goes much against my stomach. Hast any philosophy in thee shepherd? William Shakespeare, As You Like It, act 3, scene 2.

My Christmas Cactus

When I was Pastor of Lexington's Trinity Baptist Church, I had a Christmas cactus in my office. It sat on top of the bookcase where it would get the morning sunlight. Prior to Christmas it was in a pitful state of health or so it seemed to me. It was limp. The leaves were browning. I didn't know whether to water it or leave it dry. I received advise to do both. I wondered about moving it since that office got cold at night. Again, I received advise to move it and, also, to leave it alone. It seemed to be in a terrible shape and I didn't know what to do. After Christmas I arrived at the office and discovered the Christmas cactus had bloomed. There were pretty red blooms at the end of many branches. Needless to say, I was surprised. One of the lessons from my Christmas cactus is that sometimes things aren't nearly as bad and hopeless as may appear. Life's best bloosoms, flowers and lessons may break open just when we are about to give in to our sense of confusion and hopelessness. Galatians 6:9 says, "And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap is we do not grow weary." Good lesson.

Maybe The Message Is Deeper And Broader

I have listened to others, as well as myself, trying to understand and reconcile God’s instructions as recorded in various parts of the Bible. For example, I have attempted to reconcile the sixth commandment, i.e., “Thou shall not kill” (Exodus 20:13) with Joshua’s understanding that they were to kill every living thing in Jericho, (Joshua 6:21). The killing of one’s enemies, as frequently recorded in the scripture, seems to contradict not only the Commandments but also Jesus’ teaching to “love our enemies” (Matthew 5:21-26). I wish I knew how to reconcile all of this, but I don’t. I do, however, have a thought. What if our Old Testament heroes got it wrong about what God was saying to them? I wonder if the good news of their stories is that in spite of misunderstanding God and doing things that are not God-like, God continues to love, care for and ‘grow them up’ toward maturity? The good news of the Bible may not be what they did, but that God was faithful to them in spite of their misunderstanding God’s messages, directions and what they did. That message of God’s faithfulness is good news to me because I continually misunderstand what and how God is guiding me. I do dumb stuff even when I think it is God who is guiding me. The message of God’s unfailing and steadfast care for me means that I don’t have to be perfect—in fact I don’t seemed to be programmed for perfection. Nevertheless, it is God who is faithful and that’s good and hopeful news.

Church vs State--still an issue

We still struggle with separation of church and state. Today’s Lexington newspaper (11-27-20) carries the headline, “Federal judge says Beshear can’t stop classes at religious schools.” In 1980 my Pastor predecessor at Trinity Baptist Church, who was on the State School Board, was debating whether the State has the right to supervise private schools. Private schools were primarily religious schools. My predecessor believed the State did have the right to guarantee all students, whether in public, private or religious schools, were receiving an equal education. Therefore, the State has the right to supervise all schools. With this pandemic, the issues may have changed but we are still debating issues of church and state. My Baptist background says there needs to be a strict division between church and state. Nevertheless, my Baptist colleague ministers, as well as other ministers, will say when they are officiating a wedding, “By the power invested in me by the Commonwealth of Kentucky, I pronounce you husband and wife.” Not much separation of church and state in that statement and action. I believe in consistency. If the State cannot regulate religious schools, then, only the State officials should be conducting marriages. If the couple or family should desire, Ministers and the churches may bless the couple, but not ‘officially’ conduct the wedding.

Leaders Needed

The Lexington newspaper (November 20, 2020) headlines “Kentucky sets ‘staggeringly high’ new record for coronavirus cases” which meant that the Governor established new recommendations for dealing with the pandemic. On the same front page was the article “Republicans denounce [the Governor’s] new COVID-19 restrictions.” When the Republicans were asked about their plan, the newspaper reports “their answers were murky.” It is easy to be a critic, but it is difficult to be a leader. I believe this COVIA-19 is dangerous, and we are in a ‘war’ with an invisible enemy. I know when challenges are difficult, we use denial and/or avoidance rather than face the difficulty. It appears that many of our residents believe that ‘the COVID-19 virus won’t come to me, my family or friends.’ That is denial and avoidance. We cannot deny or avoid this pandemic. It is real and it is dangerous. My prayer and hope are that God will rise up leaders from among us. Whether they be Democrats, Republicans, Independents, etc. is unimportant. We need leaders who can talk and listen to each other without prejudice, i.e., an open mind; as well as a willingness to compromise and negotiate, i.e., not my way or the highway. Leaders are often unpopular but extremely necessary. Politicians are usually popular, but unnecessary. I am praying for God to rise up leaders among us.

Interpreting Scripture Through Our Prejudices

God promised the land to Abraham and his descendants (Genesis 13:15-17). I understand that. Much later (perhaps 400 years) under Joshua’s leadership, the Hebrew people took the land from the people who were living there in the name of God’s promise to Abraham (Joshua 3:10). Many, but not all, of those people living in the land during that time may also have been descendants of Abraham. The written record also reads that they were told by God to kill everyone--men, women, and children. (Joshua 6:17, 21 & 24). I have often thought that not only does not seem right or fair; it does not look like the likeness of God which we see in Jesus. I wonder if the authors of the book of Joshua were not prejudiced in the manner with which they wrote their history. Maybe God had plans of another way of fulfilling that promise to Abraham. Using the name of God as motivation can be a powerful temptation for acting out of our prejudices. I think we have been guilty of that in many ways. Folks were prejudiced when they used God to support slavery. Folks were prejudiced when they believed God was with them when they took land from Native Americans and marched them to Oklahoma (ex. the Trail of Tears). In these histories, innocent lives were lost with the prejudiced view that that too was supported by God. I believe we have been prejudiced in the way women have been treated in many Churches. I suspect that we have used the name of God in many ways to support our personal and/or national desires. There is pretty clear evidence of this in our present time. I wonder if the danger of this way of thinking may be what God had in mind when the third commandment was written (Exodus 20:7), “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain” (KJV); or “for evil purposes.” (GNB). I fear we blame God or try to make God responsible for much of which is not God’s doings, but ours. Lord, in Your mercy forgive us.

Death Is Such A Waste

My best friend of 56 years died a couple of days ago. We were college roommates. He had fought cancer for fourteen years. He was an extremely brave man in his fight against the disease. He kept his sense of humor during his battle against Cancer. When I would call him his usual answer was, “I’m not dead yet.” He worked as a Therapist until these last couple of weeks. He was a wonderful Therapist. He possessed a great deal of knowledge as well as wisdom. Many Therapists have a lot of knowledge but little wisdom. At the beginning of those last couple of weeks, he made the decision to cease treatments. He knew what he was doing. Those last couple of weeks saw his significant diminishment and death. I will miss him greatly. He loved me and accepted me as I did him. Death is such a waste. The world will no longer have the advantage of his wisdom, knowledge and skill as a Therapist. I believe death is one of the functions of the evil that inhabits this world. Evil seeks to diminish and destroy. I hope in that other dimension of life my friend will have all of his abilities and be able to continue making use of them. Maybe that’s a part of what redemption means. Peace, my friend.

Church

The Church as an institution has been the most significant influence in my life, outside of my family. I was born into the Church. My extended family for several generations were very much involved, even as leaders, in the Church. All of my education after high school, except for a master’s degree from the University of Oklahoma, has been in the Church’s educational schools. Even in my grade, junior and high school experience, many of my teachers attended the same Church as my family. I have been on Church staff several times and have been a Pastor for 3 years while in college and, later, 21 years in Lexington, Ky. I love the Church. However, I am now wondering if we are seeing some kind of a significant transition in the way we are and do Church. This COVID pandemic has motivated Churches to make use of the internet, ex., Facebook, YouTube, Zoom, etc. Even the two Seminaries where I have taught now meet with their classes on-line. You can attend their classes from any place in the world. There are no geographical limitations. I have not been inside our Church’s sanctuary for a worship service since March (7 months). I have, however, “attended” most Sundays during this time. I have also “attended” several other Churches during this same period; often two or more services on the same Sunday. I have been able to “attend” Churches in several other States. I have also “attended” Churches not of my denominational background. I miss the personal contact that was available when I worshipped in person. Nevertheless, I confess that I have enjoyed and spiritually profited by the ability to “attend” various Churches during this period. I plan to continue to “attend” various Church via the internet. A friend tells me that she, her daughter, and their families are now able to “attend” their home Church. She lives in Kentucky, the daughter in New Jersey and their home church is in Massachusetts. Another friend, who is a Children’s Minster on a Church staff, says that her present task is to provide families the materials/resources, ideas, and help they need to provide spiritual formation for their children. Parents with responsibility to do spiritual formation with their children--that sounds Biblical. A serious question seems to be: Is Church primarily about personal contact or spiritual worship and formation? If the Church’s primary purpose is worship and spiritual formation as I believe, I wonder if we will continue to need all of the Church buildings. Those buildings consume much of a church’s budget. Perhaps, without large buildings the Church would be able to assist those with significant needs in some material ways that the Church’s present budget does not permit (see Matthew 25). Could it be that God is making the Churches simplify and downsize and this internet is more than an interim way to be and do Church? Perhaps we are not going back to former ways. If any of this is true, future Church leaders will be those with new visions and a great sense of creativity. There will be many who deny or avoid this new prospect and seek to return to the former “normal.” There will also be those who are so anxious that they will seek to sabotage any new paradigms. I hope there will not be red ball caps that say, “Make the Church great again.”

You can’t pour from an empty cup

You can’t pour from an empty cup. I like this phrase and it is a good explanation for my continual reading. I graduated Seminary in 1968 and, again in 1977. Much of what I learned in Seminary is now out-of-date. So, it is crucial that I keep up in my fields of psychology and spirituality if I am going to continue working as a therapist and spiritual director. So, I read, especially in my two primary fields. I read journals as well as books. My issue is that it is time in my life to begin to downsize and my largest issue are all of my books. Several years ago, I was given a Kindle. It is great. I can continue to give away some of my books and still purchase books on my Kindle. Kindle books don’t require shelf space and I can continue to fill my cup of information and knowledge.

Morning Quiet Time

For a long time, I have tried to keep a morning quiet time. For me this involves reading some scripture which always includes a Gospel reading. I read the scripture expecting they will speak to some issue which is on my mind. I also read the “Word of the Day” from Gratefulness.org; Richard Rohr’s ‘daily devotional’ and, also, listen to “Pray-as-you-go.org.” I also keep a journal. My prayers are quick thoughts about those whom I know are ill, facing decisions, traveling, etc. I ask God whom we need to pray for this morning and then I listen to my thoughts believing God’s Spirit is guiding my prayers. I try not to tell God what I think He needs to do about these situations as I hope He already knows what is needed. I also try to sit quietly without giving attention to my thoughts that flow through my mind, i.e., mental silence. All of this takes me twenty, maybe thirty or forty minutes each morning. I do not always have a morning quiet time. Sometimes, I sleep too long and other times I just do not want to—so I do not. I hope God does not mind my skipping at times. Surely God does not want me to become obsessive and compulsive about it.

I've Been Thinking About The Protests

I’ve been thinking about the protests. My thinking is prejudiced by my personal observations of protests about Open Housing in Louisville in the 1960s. Judy and I were in Louisville at Southern Seminary from 1964 – 1968. I was in Dr. Henlee Barnette's Social Ethics class and we were looking at protests as a social/moral ethic. The class went downtown one afternoon to observe and/or participate in a protest around the Court House for legislation favoring open housing. Open Housing was that anyone, especially someone of color, could legally purchase a house anywhere in Louisville. The protestors sat on the steps, prayed and sang hymns. When the Police arrived, the protestors went willingly to the police vans. The protestors were not loud, shoving, disorderly, etc. In fact they would often ask the name of the policeman so they could pray for them, which they did on-the-spot. I wasn’t on the steps of the building so I was not going to be arrested. Those 1960s protests were about moral or ethical persuasion. Before we went downtown, we were reminded of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi’s peaceful protests. We prayed before we drove downtown. We pledged to each other a peaceful protest and cooperation with the authorities. Today’s protests seem different than those of the 1960s. Today’s protests bother me. I’m not so certain their methods are seeking moral persuasion. They ask for justice, which is an appropriate request and one I support; that’s the legal ground of he protests. There is, also, a moral ground for protests. That moral ground is asking that we treat all people as you want to be treated because all of us are one family, created in God’s image.

Wise or foolish?

One of the means I use for my morning “quiet time” is pray-as-you-go.org. I highly recommend it! This is a contemplative method of quieting one’s spirit with music from around the world as well as a scripture reading and thoughtful reflection. Today’s session invited me to become aware of my wise as well as my foolish voice(s) or selves. I am healing well from my passing out and falling. The swelling is greatly reduced and the bruising has almost disappeared. I’m getting bored with staying home, sleeping/napping and keeping an ice pack on my face. I asked the Physician if I could begin driving. She said, “No.” I asked about going back to work at the Counseling Center, she said, “No.” I’m still wearing a heart monitor as the Physicians attempt to discern why I passed out. Thus far everything is inconclusive. I’ve heard the Physician’s advice; she was very clear. I can report that today these two voices are having quite an interesting conversation in my mind with reasons to accept or ignore the Physician’s answers. Foolish or wise? I admit I think that distinction is too simple. I think most of my issues are on a continuum between those extremes. Nevertheless, it was today’s pray-as-you-go.com contemplation question. Was the Lord helping me to accept the Physician’s advice? I’m not always absolutely certain about the Lord’s guidance; it seems the Lord leans me in a direction rather than being as clear as I wish. I think I’ll stay home and out of the driver’s seat for a few more days.

57 years

Judy and I celebrated our 57th wedding anniversary. There has been a mutual “your people shall be my people” spirit. Judy was my brother’s primary care-giver when he lived with us. If asked, and he frequently was by folks in the Church who already knew his answer, “Who do you like best?” His reply was always, “My sister-in-law” (answered with a big smile). We met at Oklahoma Baptist University. Judy invited me on our first date as it was TWIRP week at OBU (the woman is requested to pay). We were married in Eufaula, Oklahoma by her uncle. On the day of our wedding, I worked at Mom and Dad’s furniture store in Norman, Oklahoma which didn’t please Judy as I barely made it to the Church on time. Our first apartment was above a garage and in front of a goat herd in Shawnee, Oklahoma (OBU days). We’ve lived in an apartment at the Seminary Village as I was in school at Southern Seminary and Judy was Dr. Wayne Oates’ secretary. We lived in a duplex in Lexington, Kentucky, when our son was born and Judy was a stay-at-home mother. We lived in eastern Kentucky in a residential treatment facility for delinquent male adolescents where I was the Superintendent and our young son seemed to have 45 “big brothers.” We’ve live in our present home for 47 years. Judy was the Administrative Assistant to the President of Central Baptist Hospital and I was a Pastor of Lexington’s Trinity Baptist Church and, later, Director of the Interfaith Counseling Center. We’ve done Marriage Enrichment Retreats. We were given recognition for 25 years as Member Care Ministers with the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship. We’ve traveled often to the Middle-East; Africa; Central America and Europe. We’ve had, and are still having, an exciting life together.

Grandma's Funeral and The Church Vote

If it is true that Solomon wrote or dictated the book of Proverbs, he must have been greatly distracted probably by his 300 wives and 700 concubines because the Book of Proverbs is poorly organized. The Proverbs seem to be randomly placed in the book. My Grandma’s favorite verse in the Bible was Proverbs 3: 5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct they paths.” (KJV) Yes, since it was Grandma’s favorite, she would be upset if I were not quoting from the King James Version, Schofield preferred. I still have her Bible. I have wonderful memories of her with one leg tucked under her thigh and dress pulled down to her ankles sitting in that old green rocking chair and reading her Bible every evening before bedtime. She was a member of the Nazarene Church. She was faithful in Church attendance and reading her Bible. I believe she took Proverbs 3: 5-6 to heart and practiced it every day. However, she along with Grandpa, were Churched. Churched means that they were ‘voted out of the Church membership’ by the congregation. They sold chewing tobacco in their small neighborhood grocery store in the ‘30s. The Church said they could not do that. Grandma’s Bible did not say they could not sell tobacco; Grandpa thought it wasn’t any business of the Church, so they sold tobacco and they got Churched. The interesting thing is that they kept going to Church even though they could not hold a Church office, sing in the choir, teach Sunday School and Grandpa was not permitted to pass the offering plates. They said they were not much interested in doing those things anyway. When Grandma died, her funeral was held in the Nazarene Church and it was full. The Preacher talk a lot about what a fine Church member Grandma was. I asked my Dad if the Preacher knew that Grandma was Churched by this very Church. Dad said, “I don’t think so, but let’s not say anything to him until we all finished at the cemetery.” So, we did not, and she got her Church funeral. I think the Church’s vote did not mean much to the Lord as He seems to have been still been directing everything.

Picking and Choosing Our Sins

I’ve been reading I Corinthians, Paul’s letter to the Church at Corinth which was having trouble among its members, particularly sexual issues. Paul wrote, “…people who are immoral or worship idols or are adulterers or homosexual perverts or who steal or are greedy or are drunkards or who slander others or are thieves—none of these will possess God’s Kingdom.” (I Corinthians 6:9-10, TEV) That’s strong stuff. Paul wrote that we should remove such folks from the Church. If that is literally what he meant then we probably wouldn’t have enough folks in the Church to pay the mortgage. A church in our area was ‘kicked out’ of their larger group because a gay man was elected as a leader. The larger group leaders said the Church had to dismissed him from the leadership position. The Church said, “Nope. The Church said he is one of us, we’ve known him a long time, he has been a faithful and spiritual member, was duly elected by the membership and so he will stay.” The Church was removed or ‘kicked out’ of the larger body. If you literally believe what Paul was writing in I Corinthians and believe it is applicable for any and all Churches then will they also ‘kick out’ those Churches who have greedy members—you know those who have more clothes and shoes in their closets than they need? Will they investigate to see if there are Churches who have members with a drinking problem? What about those Churches who have members whose gossip are actually slanderous or those who weren’t honest on their tax report, i.e., stealing? Isn’t it strange how we pick and choose which ‘sins’ are significant while others are acceptable? We who are followers of Jesus, who said nothing about homosexuality but a lot about greed, are strange folks in how we pick and choose our sins.

Relinquishing

I’ve been reading and researching about the second half of life. I’m clearly well into the second half of my living. My research keeps informing me that the task of this second half is relinquishment, letting go, minimizing, giving away, down-sizing, etc. It seems this relinquishment task involves letting go of my need of controlling, specifically my control of things, situations, others, etc. The first half of life is about acquiring. I acquire things like status, prestige, a house, car, furniture, etc. My primary acquisition seems to be books. It is not an easy shift from acquiring to giving away. Nevertheless, I’ve begun the task of relinquishing. I’ve started giving away my books. I’ve also reduced some of the expectations, i.e., the “shoulds,” and “have to’s” that I’ve put on myself and permitted others to put on me. It is reality, as well as a difficult lesson to grasp, that at the end of my life I will not take anything with me; everything will have been relinquished.

"You'll Never Walk Alone"

I’ve a clear memory when I first heard the song. That clarity of memory indicates how significant the song’s impact was and continues to be for me. I was in High School. An adult sponsor in our Church Youth Group sold mobile homes between Norman and Oklahoma City. On a Sunday afternoon a couple of us from the youth group drove to his mobile home. He wasn’t expecting us; nevertheless, he welcomed us into his mobile home. He was playing a new record which he wanted us to hear. That was when I heard the song. He told us the story of the song. The next day or so, I purchased my own record of the song. It is a song that I obviously carry in my memory, but also in my heart. It is a song I believe needs to be sung and heard repeatedly during any type of crisis. Each of us, and all of us, need to remember that “You’ll Never Walk Alone.”

Simplicity

“Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million, count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb nail.” Thoreau, Walden. Simplicity is one of my life’s rules. Simplicity has many implications. Some examples, I try not to multi-task. I try to do one thing and when it is finished, I move on to the next task. I try to keep a clean desk by finishing whatever paperwork is laying on my desk. Certainly, there are things that I cannot complete immediately, and they must lay on the desk for a while. However, I try not to put off tasks. There are often difficult phone calls or correspondence to write and I try to do those tasks the first thing of the day, so they aren’t laying on my desk and in my mind for the remainder of the day or week. I don’t have a lot of clothes but what I do have is very functional. I try to keep a simple, but functional, rhythm of my day. I’m learning that simplicity requires my willingness to say, “No.” Too many “Yeses” and my life seems to lose its simplicity.

Both/And

When it comes to matters of the heart, such as family, religion and politics, it seems that many folks have only one viewpoint which they believe to be the only right viewpoint. Such an attitude makes other viewpoints wrong. It is either right or wrong. The more I experience life and especially people who are or have had to deal with some of life’s difficulties, the less I think in terms of either/or. For example, on the Enneagram I typically score as a #2, the Helper. However, sometimes I act like a #6, the Loyalist; whereas other times I want to try something new like a #1, the Reformer. I’m the Director of our Counseling Center so I must also be a #3, the Achiever. I think I’m both a #2, #6, #1, #3 and all of the nine positions on the Enneagram, depending on the situation. I’m a three generation Baptist who is drawn to the liturgy of the Catholic, Episcopal and Lutheran Churches and I often worship with these liturgical churches. I value the Church freedom and Bible focus of the Baptist and, also, the liturgical structure of the other churches. I’m pretty sure that I’m both a Baptist and a liturgical worshipper. I find myself frustrated with those folks who think only in terms of either – or. I like both – and or conjunctive faith as James Fowler labeled it.

Moderation

Years ago in our Church there was a gentleman who was an efficiency expert. His job, as I understood it, was to consult with industry and organizations about the efficiency of their work. He gave me, as his Pastor, some valuable lessons about efficiency related to some of the meetings in the Church. I appreciated and learned from him. I continue to be mindful of some of the lessons he taught. However, over the years I’ve also learned that efficiency as the primary goal has a cost. Part of the cost may be a lack of time to casually and informally relate to colleagues at work. The cost could also to become a work-alcoholic. Being inefficient also has costs. Perhaps I don’t get my share of the work done and therefore I put extra work on others. Inefficiency may also be a symptom of a lack of self-discipline. For the past fifteen years or more, I’ve been a friend/Lay Cistercian at the Abbey of Gethsemani. Part of the discipline is seriously considering the Rule of St. Benedict, given that I’m not a monk but married, Protestant and lay person. The discipline is to think of St. Benedict’s Rule as I develop my personal rule or rhythm of life that is holistic and God-honoring. One of St. Benedict’s guidelines that is important to me is “Yet, all things are to be done with moderation on account of the fainthearted.” (Chapter 48, verse 9 The Rule of St. Benedict). Chapter 48 is about the working life. My desire is neither great efficiency nor a laissez-faire or ‘anything goes’ attitude. My goal is moderation.

“You are trying to hurry the process.”

“You are trying to hurry the process.” Those words were spoken to me a couple of days ago by my Physical Therapist. She said that she could tell by my efforts that I was trying to hurry my healing process. She said that tendons take a while to heal and it wasn’t helpful for me to try and hurry the healing process. I have frequently said something similar to students in my Spiritual Formation classes at the Seminary. Just because you have prayed fervently for a couple of days, doesn’t mean that you have a prayer practice. Developing a prayer practice takes time. In many things about my life, we get in a hurry and expect results too quickly. Waiting is difficult work. Waiting means doing or staying with the task until it is completed. Waiting is not sitting down and expecting someone else to do the task. That’s laziness, denial and avoidance.

"Thanks," Bill Simmons

Bill Simmons died April 9, 2020. He was not only a personal friend but, also, the Interfaith Counseling Center’s steadfast supporter and encourager. Since 1995 I’ve been part of the Center. The Center’s Assistance Fund, “The Debbie Simmons Stull and Barbie Simmons Assistance Fund” is named after his daughter, Debbie, and his wife, Barbie. There is a large seacoast picture in our receptionist’s office in memory of Debbie. In the early days of the Center, Bill was always concerned about the Center’s financial viability. In those early days there were significant reasons to be concerned about the Center’s finances and genuinely serious concerns about our ability to stay open. Bill’s support never wavered. When it became clear that the Center’s Operating Fund finances were sufficient, Bill shifted his concern to the Assistance Fund. He wanted to make certain the Center had funds available so that no one was ever turned away due to their inability to afford the cost of professional Christian counseling at the Interfaith Counseling Center. With the death of Bill Simmons, the Center has lost a significant supporter and my heart is heavy. “Thanks, Bill.”

First Fruits, the Biblical name for Easter

God’s people are instructed to take the first fruits of the land to the Priest on the day after the Sabbath (Leviticus 23:9-11.) This is known as the first fruits offering. This offering is showing gratefulness to God that the planting and harvesting “system” are working and there will be continual harvests. The Jewish Sabbath began on Friday at sundown and ended Saturday at sunrise. Paul taught that Jesus’ resurrection was a “first fruit” (I Corinthians 15: 20-23). Jesus’ resurrection happened on the Jewish celebration of First Fruits. Jesus’ resurrection by God meant that God’s resurrection plan was working and reliable. Jesus, the first fruits of resurrection and, then, in proper order those who follow Jesus will also be resurrected. Thanks be to God. May you have a blessed First Fruits (aka Easter) celebration.

Signs of Inner peace

I'm grateful to a friend, a Buddhist monk, who introduced me to these "signs of inner peace." An increasing ability to enjoy each moment. A tendency to act spontaneously rather than react to fear. A decreasing interest in judging others. A decreasing interest in judging oneself. An increasing preference to allow things to happen rather than make things happen. A lessening inclination to interpret the actions of others. A decreasing involvement in conflict. An increasing ability to give and receive love. Less motivation to worry. Frequent, overwhelming periods of gratitude. Feelings of contentment and oneness with humanity and nature. Frequent attacks of smiling. Feelings of effervescent joy.

My God, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me

There are times when I feel that he has withdrawn from me, and I have often given him cause, but Easter is always the answer to "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me!" Madeleine L'Engle

To "Let Go" Takes Love

To "Let Go" Takes Love (Robert Paul Gilles, Thoughts of the Dream Poet: 1997, vol. 1) To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do for someone else. To "let go" is not to cut myself off; it is the realization that I can't control another. To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another; it is to make the most of myself. To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about. To "let go" is not to "fix", but to be supportive. To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies. To "let go" is not to be protective; it is to permit another to face reality. To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept. To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them. To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and to cherish myself in it. To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I can be. To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and to live for the future. To "let go" is to fear less and to love more.

The Lesson from the Flowers and Flowering Trees

The flowers and flowering trees in our yard are showing their buds. Those buds will soon unfold into flowers. I check the trees each day to see how they are doing. I can’t hurry them. They have their own timetable. They will know when it is time to bloom. So it seems with God’s creating something new. God’s creating has its own timetable and I can’t hurry it along. My task is to be patient and wait. I also learn that I’m not in control of when the trees and flowers coming into bloom. Seem s like each spring, I learn again the lessons of patience.

Coronavirus, who did this to us?

She reported that her Pastor said this Coronavirus was from God as punishment for sins. I told her that wasn’t how I think. I recalled that God said creation was good (Genesis 1:12.) Unfortunately, I think we continue to mess up God’s good creation in many ways over many generations and, therefore, we suffer the consequences of decisions and behaviors. I suspect we, not God, have somehow created this virus and pandemic. My image is of God shaking God’s head in the same manner a parent shakes her head as she lovingly watches her child do something that isn’t very wise. I do, however, believe that somehow God will be about creating something for our wellbeing from this crisis. I do not believe this virus is either good or of God. It seems to be accomplishing only what evil does, which is to destroy. I believe God has the wisdom to take our messes and, then, working with us, create for our wellbeing.

What Might Hae Been

If it weren’t for my left leg being held stiff by a sophisticated metal brace due to a slip on the ice and surgery, I might have been on my way to Slovakia today. If it weren’t for a virus, strangely named after a pale Mexican beer-- Corona, I might have been on my way to Slovakia. Delta and I were scheduled to fly via Detroit, Amsterdam and Krakow on April 1st (“Yes,” I get the irony—April’s Fool Day) where I was to be picked up and taken to a retreat center in somewhere in Slovakia near the Poland boundary. I was to be among some of the most wonderful folks who are Cooperative Baptist Fellowship missionaries working in Europe. Among other things, I had planned to talk with them about “Toward a Less Anxious Presence.” (“Yes,” I posted my thoughts on this blog). However, things don’t always work out the way they were planned. Instead of that wonderful journey, my task now has to do with leg exercises, physical distancing and shelter-in-place at home. Things don’t always work out the way they were planned. Paul wrote, “he was content in whatever state he was in” (Philippians 4:11). I’m working on that.

Toward a Less Anxious Presence (Part 5)

When we speak of being "hooked" we usually mean that something has hooked us and we've reacted in a manner that is not typical for us. We've reacted rather than responded. There is a major difference between reacting and responding. Everyone has triggers that hook us. Triggers" are topics, persons, situations, etc. that hook us and cause us to react in a manner of which we're not pleased. We know we've been hooked when we ask, "Why did I say that?" or "Wow, I came on strong." Strong emotions are also a symptom that we've been hooked. What things, situations, persons, issues, etc. are our triggers? Write them down and keep a record. Knowing what our triggers are is being forewarned. By being forewarned, triggers loose some of their power and we are better able to respond rather than react. The fear of being hooked and reacting is a frequent cause anxiety.

Towards a Less Anxious Presence (part 4)

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.” This Hebrew word translated “be still” may also be translated (so I’m told by a Hebrew language Professor), “Let it go.” So, Psalm 46:10 message might be “Let it go and know that I am God.” Philippians 4: 6-7. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (NIV) The word that precedes verse 6 is “The Lord is at hand.” I think we can say, “The Lord is at hand, therefore, do not be anxious….” The word translated “guard” may also be translated as “rule” or “umpire.” I have a desire to let go of several things, such as... Let go of: 1. my “identifications.” I’m more than a Baptist, teacher, counselor, etc. These identifications can be restrictive; they primarily relate me to what I do. I'm more than what I do. 2. of my need to be special. I’m just me and that’s okay. 3. what others think of me. They are thinking through their own “filters” of which they may or may not be aware. 4. envy and jealously. Giving to others is a good prescription for these personal demons, so let others have the last word; need for victory; etc. 5. the need to change someone else. I speak not to change the other person’s mind, but to clearly and non-aggressively articulate the truth as I perceive it at this moment. 6. needing to talk so much. Listen instead. God gave us two ears but only one mouth. Could there be a divine message/revelation here?

Toward a Less Anxious Presence (part 3)

Need to be seen as perfect? Our need to be “perfect” or at least to be seen as without serious issues, can be a cause of anxiety. Most of us spend a lot of energy and worry trying to keep up our persona. Persona is our public image. Our self-image and/or the way we want others to ‘see’ us is being threatened especially if we think others might not think as highly of us as we think of ourselves. Jesus instructed us to be perfect, (Matthew 5:48.) Be careful because his instruction came towards the close of the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus has said we are to practice the beatitudes; keep the Law; don't get angry; have no lust; keep all of our vows; have no desire for revenge and love all our enemies. That's a high standard of being perfect. Even Paul wrote that he wasn't perfect, "Not that I have already obtained it, or have already become perfect…" (Philippians 3:12, KJV). Other translations have translated that word "perfect" as "reached the goal" (NRSV), "obtained" (NASV). I like THE MESSAGE paraphrase of the Philippians verse by Eugene Peterson, "I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out to me." Peterson even paraphrases the word "perfect" in Jesus' Sermon on the Mount as "Grow up." Seems like our goal is to accept ourselves for who we are at present and know that we're still a "work-in-process" or we're still "growing up" and if that's good enough for God, then it is good enough.

Toward A Less Anxious Presence (part 2)

CONTROL. All of us desire and need some level of control. No one wants to be "out of control." It is normal to want to have some control over our lives. We like making our own decisions rather than having someone else tell us what to do all of the time. However, sometimes we can find ourselves in situations where we have little control, especially over larger circumstances that impact our lives. This Coronavirus situation may be one of those larger situations. Not having as much control as we want, can cause us to over-control. When we are overly anxious we often over-compensate or over-control as a way of seeking some autonomy. Over-controlling is often evidenced by our "nit-picking" over small things that wouldn't have bothered us in the past; not being satisfied with a task; becoming "bossy" with family, friends colleagues, etc. Control isn't a bad thing but it can get out-of-control. It helps to be aware that we are often not in control of nearly as much as we would like to have control over. Realistically try to control what you can and let go of what you can't control. Stay safe and well.

Could this Coronavirus requirement of distancing be a gift?

Could this Coronavirus requirement of staying at home be a gift? We might use this time to further develop a quiet and gentle spirit. We might learn to slow down and learn how to enjoy the day with it's own rhythms, rather than the schedule we've imposed on the day. This staying at home requires that we find a pattern other than the busyness of our scheduled, busyness and hurried calendar. We might even be released from the expectations we've put on ourselves or allowed others to put on us. We could sleep until our bodies says, "That's sufficient" rather than when the alarm clock goes off. We could eat when we are hungry rather than when our schedule says "It's time so we have to eat." We could even nap in the afternoon when our body says, "Let's lay down." We could go for a slow, leisurely walk around the neighborhood and pay attention to our neighbors, their yards, houses, etc. We might even sit outside and watch the birds at the bird feeder. During this time, We might even learn more about ourselves and our world which we've been running past for a long time.

Toward a Less Anxiious Presence (part 1)

Stress can cause anxiety; anxiety can cause stress, so we worry about our stress and anxiety which makes our stress and anxiety worse. It becomes an self-influencing loop that we want to break. Anxiety has its place. It is a God-created as a part of how we operate. Anxiety lets us know that we need to be careful, cautious, deliberate, etc. Example: anxiety about tomorrow’s presentation motivates preparation. There is our DNA factor. Some folks are “wired,” and/or perhaps they were nurtured with low anxiety. They are those we think of as “laid back.” Other folks are wired and/or nurtured with high anxiety. They are those we think of as “high strung.” There is eustress and distress. Eustress is that stress that motivates us to our best. Distress is the stress that gets in our way and motivates us to procrastinate, example, fear that we won’t be thought perfect. Usually the underlying energy or motivation for anxiety is fear. So, what is your anxiety trying to tell you about yourself? What are you afraid might happen? How might you handle that fearful situation if it happens? Facing one’s fears is an excellent prescription for dealing with anxiety.

FACES

This Coronavirus time is creating a lot of anxiety. Usually it is our unknown fear or fears that feeds our anxiety. This Coronavirus is certainly unknown. Whose been infected? Am I safe going into a public place such as a grocery store? Does a face mask really protect? Am I sufficiently healthy so that I could fight off the virus? We are surrounded by many other questions for which we don't have clear answers. Unknown fears feed anxiety. It has been suggested that the acronym FACES can be helpful. F = recognize and face our fears and frustrations. A = acknowledge our anxiety as well as our anger. We are frequently angry about not having sufficient answers to our questions. C = watch out for issues of control, especially over-control. We're not really in control of as much as we desire to control. E = be careful about your expectations, also about the expectations others put on us. A clue to our expectations is to listen for words or implications such as "should," "have to," "ought." etc. My physical therapist would want us to add exercise to our E. S = know our stress or stresses and seek to reduce the constant level of stress. In this time of Coronavirus anxiety, keep our FACES in mind. Take care of yourself and stay well.

Physical, Not Social Distancing

Our Church emails a devotional for each day during this Coronavirus period. Dr. Miller, a Church member, made the observation in his devotional that we are to maintain a physical distance from one another, but not a social distance. We are social people so we need to stay "in touch." We can connect with others socially via the telephone, emails, texts, Skype, Zoom and many other available platforms. Keeping a physical distance so that we aren't getting or spreading the virus is a good and necessary practice. That doesn't necessarily mean we can't reach out to others. I hope you will take the initiative during this time to contact your family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc. and say 'Hi, been thinking about you." It is a significant blessing to know that you are remembered. So, pass the blessing on to others.

Slip Slidding Into New Life Lessons

Slipped on some black ice and tore my quad loose. After surgery I'm in an immobilizer and on crutches. I'm an active person so this enforced period of inactivity is unwelcome. Nevertheless, it is slowly beginning to teach me some important lessons. For example, I must depend on others rather than doing it myself. I can't even get myself a glass of water. I have been doing a lot of reading. I just purchased a third book on my Kindle, Dr. James Hollis' book, Living an Examined Life. What drew me to it was the subtitle, "Wisdom for the Second Half of the Journey." I'm well into the second half of my journey but, nevertheless, let's read what he says. I'm a reader of Dr. Hollis and his Jungian background so I'll pay attention. In my practice of therapy, I've frequently told clients that they will think they are better than they really are. Healing takes time and our minds are usually ahead of our physical selves. At least, mine is and that's why I fell a second time, but in the house. My instructions are not to get up except to go to the restroom and table. That's not an easy lesson for me to learn.

Impeachment and stone throwing

The Presidential impeachment trial has concluded with a verdict of acquittal. I suspect we will never actually know what really happened or even what the actual motivation was all about. Nevertheless, I'm glad there was someone who brought the charge and a group that reached their verdict. Perhaps every national leader and President should be charged with misusing his/her influence and, therefore, tried by a group of peers. Our world is full of individual and group behaviors that are questionable. There is something within each of us that breaks through our persona (how we want to be seen by others) and, about which, we hope no one knows. It was Jesus who said, that those of us who are without sin are those who would want to begin throwing the first stones. I'm glad there was a charge, impeachment, trial and verdict. However, I'm certainly not in a position to begin throwing stones. I'm pleased, however, that it is over. I wish some would now 'let it go' so we can move on. Perhaps that's what Jesus meant when he said 'go and sin no more.'