Same Sex Attraction

In the late 1970’s and 80’s, I was ambivalent about same-sex attraction. I did not know what I thought and believed. Since that time, I have had the opportunity and privilege of sitting in the counseling room with people who were struggling with their sexual orientation. Many of these folks I have come to appreciate, respect, and admire for their honesty. They have evolved my thinking and beliefs. I have officiated at the wedding of two men whom I respect. I felt good about their relationship as well as their sense of God’s leading and was honored to officiate their wedding and celebrate their marriage. I wish I could go back and retrieve comments I made in the past about same-sex attraction. I would say things much differently today. I thank God for guiding me in my evolving thoughts and beliefs. I sometimes wonder if those who have negative thoughts and beliefs about same-sex attraction, have ever really gotten to know someone who has struggled with his/her sexuality. I fear that it is too easy to be judgmental about what or whom we do not know.

Lord, Where Is Your Sanctuary?

It is “Church-time” on a cool, blue-skyed, early summer Sunday morning. My neighbor is mowing her grass, except the grass is not hers any more than my grass is mine. When my neighbor and I are gone, the grass will still be here. Another neighbor has just returned from a run and is now doing her yogi stretches as we make small talk about the beauty of the morning. I sit on the porch swing and read Mary Oliver’s UPSTREAM. I hear the birds chirping or perhaps they are making small talk as my neighbor and me. A bright red cardinal sits and sings from the dogwood tree—bright red among the green leaves—and both so very much alive. The porch is the place of pots full of geraniums, daisies, petunias, begonias, spider plants, and peace lilies. All of this is alive as the Cardinal who has now been joined by the chirping and singing of sparrows. Lord, where is Your sanctuary?

Interfaith Dialogue

Not long ago I read The Book of Joy. I recommend it. Desmond Tutu an Archbishop in the Episcopal Church traveled to India to help celebrate the Dalai Lama’s 80th birthday. The book describes their days and conversations around the topic of creating lasting happiness in a changing world. A Christian and a Buddhist, good and respectful friends in search of joy. Too often we think of Interfaith dialogue in terms of convincing the other to join us in our beliefs and practices. There was no hint of conversion between these two strong men of faith. This competitive attitude of “us” against “them” is often about who is right and who is wrong. One of the primary reasons that I am a Christian is that I was born into and raised in a Christian culture. Who might I have become if I had been born elsewhere? I believe there are truths of God in all our religions as well as falsehood of humanity in all religions. Perhaps, God’s plan is for us to respect each other sufficiently so that we can learn from one another without diminishing our beliefs but, also, learning about other’s beliefs and experiences with God. I suspect God is bigger than any of our “religions.”

Awful Silence

Thomas Merton, when writing about war, nuclear arms, and violence in the 1960’s, was disturbed by the “awful silence and apathy on the part of Catholics, clergy, hierarchy, and lay people.” (Merton, Man of Dialogue. Hillis. Pg. 166). I am disturbed by the awful silence and apathy on the part of Christians, clergy, hierarchy, and lay people regarding the serious issues affecting our world. I refer to issues such as violence; gun control; environmental destruction; abortion, the disparity between the wealthy and poor, individuals as well as nations; lack of adequate and affordable access to health care; treatment of women; treatment of same sex individuals and couples and the list of issues continues as evidenced by the news headlines. We are in a dysfunctional system. The system is working well for many, but not so well for others. The one’s for whom it is working have the authority, power, and ability to stay separated and unconcerned to keep it working for them. This is Machiavellian politics, which is get power and then, do anything to stay in power. I do not think this is good politics; it is certainly not Christian. Christian means being a follower of Jesus. The question is an old question that we seem to have ceased asking, “What would Jesus do?” Jesus’ Kingdom of God is not a dysfunctional system. It functions for all, especially the least of those among us (Matthew 25). We talk about being Christians and having a Christian nation, but as I tell my therapy clients, “Read the behavior and you will learn the truth.”

Walk Beside as Equals and Not Behind

Recently I observed a couple walking together except the wife (I assumed she was the wife) was walking behind. I thought that is a “picture” of Southern Baptists. Women are to walk behind the men. There is a significant lack of equality, and the Bible is used to teach and support such an idea, thought or theology. Often the scriptures that are used are from Paul’s letters. Paul’s letters were written to specific congregations, most of whom had unique or specific issues with which they were dealing. I am not convinced that we are to make Paul’s letters to be universal applications for all congregations. I would rather take Jesus’ teachings as my universal teachings. Jesus said to treat others as you want to be treated. God gave the message of Jesus’ resurrection to three women and told them to go tell the men. God also gave them instructions to tell the men where they would find Jesus. God’s trusting those women with the significant message of the resurrection settles the issue for me. Women are not to be treated as second class Christians. If God calls a woman to a leadership position, even an Ordained position in the Church, then let us not get in God’s way.

I Am Their Leader, Which Way Did They Go?

Quietism is the name given to a set of beliefs that rose in popularity in France, Italy, and Spain during the late 1670s and 1680s, particularly associated with the writings of the Spanish mystic Miguel de Molinos, Madame Guyon, and which were condemned as heresy in 1687. It is the belief and practice that there is not a lot that I need to do to help bring God’s Kingdom to earth except to pray. Quietism does not ask much of me. I hear Quietism often in the counseling room and in Churches, although I am sure they have never heard of Quietism. The clients and Churches say that they are praying and waiting on God to act. I have nothing against praying and waiting on God because I fear too often, we run ahead of God. I do, however, recall that in many of Jesus’ miracles, he asked the recipients or friends to do something first. He asked the servants to fill the water pots at the wedding in Cana of Galilee. He put mud in the blind man’s eyes and told him to wash. Elisha told Naaman to dunk himself in the Jordan River if he would be clean of his leprosy. I believe God usually asks us to do something in addition to praying and waiting. I think the scriptures teach us that we are in a mutual relationship with God. I agree with those who say that God’s hands and feet are our hands and feet. I do my part and God does God’s part. I believe that the Churches and political leaders must do their parts. The political leaders must be talking and acting toward legislation that deals with the contemporary issue. The Churches must be talking about the issues of today. Surely the Bible has something to say about how we deal with each other and our issues. I fear that many Churches and Pulpits have lost their voices; they are quiet. I suspect they may have lost their voice because they are fearful of upsetting some members. I have a friend who had a baseball cap with two bills facing different directions and the writing on the ballcap said, "I am their leader; which way did they go?" I think many of our Political and Church leaders are wearing that ballcap.

Let's Have Strict Gun Controls

When I was in grade school, my dad purchased a BB rifle for me. He had me shoot at bottles in the back yard when he was beside me. As I grew older, he purchased a single shot 22 rifle for me, and we would go rabbit and squirrel hunting. Since the rabbits and squirrels, were safe from me and my single shot 22 rifle, I asked Dad for either a 410 shotgun or a rifle that would shoot more than one bullet at a time. Dad said, “No” that any sportsman had to give the animals a fair chance. I understand the desire for a sportsman type of rifle, although I have long ago given away my guns. I do not understand the desire or need for a military type of weapon. Those type of guns are designed for the purpose of killing people. I am an advocate for strict gun control. Those military type weapons do not belong in the hands and/or homes of citizens. They need to be restricted to the military and law enforcement personnel. It is guns that kill people. Gun advocates say it is the mentally ill who kill people. However, if a mentally ill person cannot get a gun, he/she is not going to kill people, such as entering a grade school and killing children and teachers. It is past time for our leaders to stand up and enact strict gun controls.