Grandma's Funeral and The Church Vote

If it is true that Solomon wrote or dictated the book of Proverbs, he must have been greatly distracted probably by his 300 wives and 700 concubines because the Book of Proverbs is poorly organized. The Proverbs seem to be randomly placed in the book. My Grandma’s favorite verse in the Bible was Proverbs 3: 5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct they paths.” (KJV) Yes, since it was Grandma’s favorite, she would be upset if I were not quoting from the King James Version, Schofield preferred. I still have her Bible. I have wonderful memories of her with one leg tucked under her thigh and dress pulled down to her ankles sitting in that old green rocking chair and reading her Bible every evening before bedtime. She was a member of the Nazarene Church. She was faithful in Church attendance and reading her Bible. I believe she took Proverbs 3: 5-6 to heart and practiced it every day. However, she along with Grandpa, were Churched. Churched means that they were ‘voted out of the Church membership’ by the congregation. They sold chewing tobacco in their small neighborhood grocery store in the ‘30s. The Church said they could not do that. Grandma’s Bible did not say they could not sell tobacco; Grandpa thought it wasn’t any business of the Church, so they sold tobacco and they got Churched. The interesting thing is that they kept going to Church even though they could not hold a Church office, sing in the choir, teach Sunday School and Grandpa was not permitted to pass the offering plates. They said they were not much interested in doing those things anyway. When Grandma died, her funeral was held in the Nazarene Church and it was full. The Preacher talk a lot about what a fine Church member Grandma was. I asked my Dad if the Preacher knew that Grandma was Churched by this very Church. Dad said, “I don’t think so, but let’s not say anything to him until we all finished at the cemetery.” So, we did not, and she got her Church funeral. I think the Church’s vote did not mean much to the Lord as He seems to have been still been directing everything.

Picking and Choosing Our Sins

I’ve been reading I Corinthians, Paul’s letter to the Church at Corinth which was having trouble among its members, particularly sexual issues. Paul wrote, “…people who are immoral or worship idols or are adulterers or homosexual perverts or who steal or are greedy or are drunkards or who slander others or are thieves—none of these will possess God’s Kingdom.” (I Corinthians 6:9-10, TEV) That’s strong stuff. Paul wrote that we should remove such folks from the Church. If that is literally what he meant then we probably wouldn’t have enough folks in the Church to pay the mortgage. A church in our area was ‘kicked out’ of their larger group because a gay man was elected as a leader. The larger group leaders said the Church had to dismissed him from the leadership position. The Church said, “Nope. The Church said he is one of us, we’ve known him a long time, he has been a faithful and spiritual member, was duly elected by the membership and so he will stay.” The Church was removed or ‘kicked out’ of the larger body. If you literally believe what Paul was writing in I Corinthians and believe it is applicable for any and all Churches then will they also ‘kick out’ those Churches who have greedy members—you know those who have more clothes and shoes in their closets than they need? Will they investigate to see if there are Churches who have members with a drinking problem? What about those Churches who have members whose gossip are actually slanderous or those who weren’t honest on their tax report, i.e., stealing? Isn’t it strange how we pick and choose which ‘sins’ are significant while others are acceptable? We who are followers of Jesus, who said nothing about homosexuality but a lot about greed, are strange folks in how we pick and choose our sins.

Relinquishing

I’ve been reading and researching about the second half of life. I’m clearly well into the second half of my living. My research keeps informing me that the task of this second half is relinquishment, letting go, minimizing, giving away, down-sizing, etc. It seems this relinquishment task involves letting go of my need of controlling, specifically my control of things, situations, others, etc. The first half of life is about acquiring. I acquire things like status, prestige, a house, car, furniture, etc. My primary acquisition seems to be books. It is not an easy shift from acquiring to giving away. Nevertheless, I’ve begun the task of relinquishing. I’ve started giving away my books. I’ve also reduced some of the expectations, i.e., the “shoulds,” and “have to’s” that I’ve put on myself and permitted others to put on me. It is reality, as well as a difficult lesson to grasp, that at the end of my life I will not take anything with me; everything will have been relinquished.

"You'll Never Walk Alone"

I’ve a clear memory when I first heard the song. That clarity of memory indicates how significant the song’s impact was and continues to be for me. I was in High School. An adult sponsor in our Church Youth Group sold mobile homes between Norman and Oklahoma City. On a Sunday afternoon a couple of us from the youth group drove to his mobile home. He wasn’t expecting us; nevertheless, he welcomed us into his mobile home. He was playing a new record which he wanted us to hear. That was when I heard the song. He told us the story of the song. The next day or so, I purchased my own record of the song. It is a song that I obviously carry in my memory, but also in my heart. It is a song I believe needs to be sung and heard repeatedly during any type of crisis. Each of us, and all of us, need to remember that “You’ll Never Walk Alone.”

Simplicity

“Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million, count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb nail.” Thoreau, Walden. Simplicity is one of my life’s rules. Simplicity has many implications. Some examples, I try not to multi-task. I try to do one thing and when it is finished, I move on to the next task. I try to keep a clean desk by finishing whatever paperwork is laying on my desk. Certainly, there are things that I cannot complete immediately, and they must lay on the desk for a while. However, I try not to put off tasks. There are often difficult phone calls or correspondence to write and I try to do those tasks the first thing of the day, so they aren’t laying on my desk and in my mind for the remainder of the day or week. I don’t have a lot of clothes but what I do have is very functional. I try to keep a simple, but functional, rhythm of my day. I’m learning that simplicity requires my willingness to say, “No.” Too many “Yeses” and my life seems to lose its simplicity.

Both/And

When it comes to matters of the heart, such as family, religion and politics, it seems that many folks have only one viewpoint which they believe to be the only right viewpoint. Such an attitude makes other viewpoints wrong. It is either right or wrong. The more I experience life and especially people who are or have had to deal with some of life’s difficulties, the less I think in terms of either/or. For example, on the Enneagram I typically score as a #2, the Helper. However, sometimes I act like a #6, the Loyalist; whereas other times I want to try something new like a #1, the Reformer. I’m the Director of our Counseling Center so I must also be a #3, the Achiever. I think I’m both a #2, #6, #1, #3 and all of the nine positions on the Enneagram, depending on the situation. I’m a three generation Baptist who is drawn to the liturgy of the Catholic, Episcopal and Lutheran Churches and I often worship with these liturgical churches. I value the Church freedom and Bible focus of the Baptist and, also, the liturgical structure of the other churches. I’m pretty sure that I’m both a Baptist and a liturgical worshipper. I find myself frustrated with those folks who think only in terms of either – or. I like both – and or conjunctive faith as James Fowler labeled it.

Moderation

Years ago in our Church there was a gentleman who was an efficiency expert. His job, as I understood it, was to consult with industry and organizations about the efficiency of their work. He gave me, as his Pastor, some valuable lessons about efficiency related to some of the meetings in the Church. I appreciated and learned from him. I continue to be mindful of some of the lessons he taught. However, over the years I’ve also learned that efficiency as the primary goal has a cost. Part of the cost may be a lack of time to casually and informally relate to colleagues at work. The cost could also to become a work-alcoholic. Being inefficient also has costs. Perhaps I don’t get my share of the work done and therefore I put extra work on others. Inefficiency may also be a symptom of a lack of self-discipline. For the past fifteen years or more, I’ve been a friend/Lay Cistercian at the Abbey of Gethsemani. Part of the discipline is seriously considering the Rule of St. Benedict, given that I’m not a monk but married, Protestant and lay person. The discipline is to think of St. Benedict’s Rule as I develop my personal rule or rhythm of life that is holistic and God-honoring. One of St. Benedict’s guidelines that is important to me is “Yet, all things are to be done with moderation on account of the fainthearted.” (Chapter 48, verse 9 The Rule of St. Benedict). Chapter 48 is about the working life. My desire is neither great efficiency nor a laissez-faire or ‘anything goes’ attitude. My goal is moderation.