Advent, Open Heart and Eyes

We begin advent. I wonder if I’ve so romanticized and sanitized that first Christmas that I’ve missed the truth. If the Christ-child were around Lexington today, would I notice? The reality of that first Christmas was less than pleasant. Mary was an unwed mother. She and Joseph were forced to travel for reasons of obligatory census which had to do with taxation. Their travel was at a most difficult time as it was Mary’s late term pregnancy. Their accommodations in Bethlehem were less than the best. I even wonder why some of Joseph’s extended family didn’t provide them hospitality since it was his ancestor’s home. Who helped Mary with the birth? Was it Joseph? Perhaps it was some of the Shepherds as they would have known something about birthing lambs. A couple of years after the first Christmas, the family became refugees fleeing the violence of a ruler. That first Christmas and those couple of years that followed were not pleasant times. Near our Counseling Center is a home for unwed mothers. These young women and their infants often walk around our neighborhood. I sometimes wonder if this is what Mary experienced with her newborn infant. Around the corner from the Center is a ministry helping to settle immigrants and refugees in the Lexington area. Could there be a “Holy Family” among them? When it is a rainy night, there is a man and woman who would sleep on the Center’s porch because the local shelter for the homeless won’t let them stay the night together. Did Joseph and Mary experience something similar? Perhaps what I really need this Christmas is some nudging from the angels, who nudged the shepherds, so I can better recognize what God is doing on Christmas. Whatever else Christmas may mean, the truth of Christmas or the incarnation is that “The Lord is near” (Philippians 4:5b). If that is still true then the Lord is near even in my little corner of Lexington, Kentucky; and Christmas, the incarnation, is still happening, only not necessarily as I think, expect, imagine, or want it to happen. Lord, in order to open my eyes to your prenence, my heart must be opened first.

Letting go

Somewhere I happened across a prayer, which I paraphrase as I can’t find it again. “Lord, help us to turn loose of whatever we hold to so that we’ll have room to accept the new gifts You are seeking to give us.” Letting go of things which we think are somehow ‘mine’ or ‘ours’ is difficult enough, but to let go of attitudes, behaviors, thoughts, past events, etc. are even more difficult. Letting go of an attitude of prejudice toward those who are of a different in skin color or sexual orientation or religious belief, for example, is difficult. Letting go of a past event involves forgiveness. Genuine letting go is an attitude or experience of realizing this thing/attitude no longer reflects our growing and maturing values. God’s invitation is to a journey, i.e.,” come follow me”, rather than to settle down and hold on.

Sometimes I Just Need To Do It

This morning I went to the office and painted a small baseboard in the restroom. That baseboard had somehow gotten wet and the paint was peeling. I have noticed it often over the past several months and thought someone or, perhaps I ought to paint that baseboard. This morning it took me about an hour to scrape and paint the baseboard. I have spent much more time than one hour thinking about that baseboard and its need for paint. All this make me wonder why I spend more time thinking about doing a project than just doing it.

Slower

I am fond of the African proverb (or at least I was told it is African), “There is such urgency that we had better slow down.” It seems to me that everyone is in a hurry for some reason. Cars drive too fast. Shoppers are in such a hurry that grocery carts become dangerous. I can’t even walk the neighborhood without some runner or fast walker motivating me to step off the sidewalk. What is the hurry? My Dad would have said, “Son looks like that person needed to leave home earlier.” I am an advocate of slower or at least leave home in plenty of time.

Who do you want to become?

In Alice in Wonderland, Alice asked the cat, “Which Way?” The cat answered that the way would depend a good deal on where you want to get to. Alice’s answer was that she didn’t much care. The cat answered, “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.” It seems to me that many folks want some direction in their life but they are not really certain what the goal of their life is to be. It is a good question, “Who do you want to have become with your life?”

Silly Religion

Psalm 31:6 reads in the New International Version, “I hate those who cling to worthless idols; I trust in the Lord.” The Message, translates that verse, “I hate all this silly religion, but you, God, I trust.” Religion can become a worthless idol when the focus is on our doctrines, building and programs. I recall the story that the finger which points to the moon is not the moon. The Church, including her doctrines, buildings and programs, is only a finger pointing to God. It is too easy to focus on the finger rather than that to which it points. Yet, we easily and quickly lose sight of God as we spend our time and energies taking care of our doctrines, buildings and programs. Lord, save us from all our silly religion.

Others

I attended the Falls Creek Baptist Assembly as a teenager and member of the First Baptist Church of Norman, Oklahoma. The Church’s lodge at Falls Creek had the word “others” implanted with large marbles in the front walk’s concrete. Every time anyone went into or out of the Lodge, you would see the word “Others.” Those summer youth assemblies and that front walk taught me that every time I tried to decide whether my behavior or attitude was right or wrong, I was to think about others. It seems to me that many folks have lost that spirit in our time, especially as we deal with COVID. Many folks are only thinking of themselves, their “rights”, what they want, etc. Perhaps we have lost the sense of ‘greater good’. When the Lord asked Cain about his brother Abel, Cain responded, “I do not know, am I my brother’s keeper” (Genesis 4:9). Yes, Cain had killed his brother. Cain’s spirit does not sound like Paul’s instructions in Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another’s burden, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Not considering others and the consequences my behavior and attitude may have on them can cause us to become self-serving even to the point of losing the attitude of serving the greater good. We are headed for serious trouble when we begin to think that we are not our brother or sister’s keeper. I pray and hope that more and more of us will think in terms of “others” as we make decisions.

Being Certain Doesn't Mean I Am Right

A gentleman telephoned me at my therapy practice with the Interfaith Counseling Center and said he was seeking Christian counseling for marital issues. He said that Christian counseling was very important as he and his wife were "followers of Jesus." He indicated that he had done a thorough search via the web and felt that “the Lord was leading them to me.” He also said that neither he nor his wife had been vaccinated for COVID because they trusted Jesus rather than a vaccine. I told him that our practice was if they were unvaccinated, then we would look at the possibility of virtual therapy. He said that he had done some internet research and knew that virtual counseling was ineffective. He was very certain of all that he was sharing with me. He had that “authority” in his voice. I told him that given their expectations, I was not a good resource for them even if he was convinced that the Lord had led him to me. He hung up on me. I am reminded again that a person, even I, can be certain but still not be right. Humility is always a good prescription.

I am weary of finger pointing

I am weary of finger pointing. Today the national news carries the story of the fall of Kabul. The Taliban have taken over the capital and the President has left the country. The folks being interviewed seem to be attempting to answer the question “Whose fault has this been?” The finger pointing has begun. COVID is making a renewal and we ask the question, “Whose fault is this?” The finger pointing has begun at those who refuse to be vaccinated as well as those who refuse to wear masks. A church has not recovered it’s attendance since the COVID pandemic and they have begun to point fingers-- the Pastor’s sermons, the music or some of the Elders’ decisions. Whose fault is this decline in attendance? When we ask the question, “Whose fault is this?” we are looking backwards. We may even be trying to avoid the reality of the present. I think a better question would be” Given this reality, what are we going to do now? The truth is that there is probably sufficient fault to go around so we need not start pointing fingers. When I pointed my finger at someone in blame, my Dad would remind me that I also had three fingers pointing back at me. Lesson learned! I am weary of finger pointing.

Critical Race Theory and "Kangaroo History"

I believe Critical Race Theory has something important to teach us and something to which we need to give attention. I do not appreciate those who are trying to keep this out of our schools, churches, and minds. After all, we have not had such a wonderful history. We stole lands from the Native Americans and built our cities on their sacred grounds. We captured Africans and brought them to this country as slaves to do for us what we did not want to do for ourselves. It is not surprising that many want to keep this part of our history silent. For example, I grew up in Oklahoma, attended two Universities in Oklahoma and I had never heard of the Tulsa Massacre until recently. The Tulsa massacre is evidence of why we need to learn from all of our history and not select only those parts of our history that make us look good. Critical Race Theory helps make us aware that systemic racial prejudice has been and continues to be a reality. An old friend would talk about “kangaroo history” by which he meant that we jumped over those historical parts about which we wanted to forget. Critical Race Theory challenges our kangaroo history.

Post-Pandemic Spirit

A colleague found a New York Times article on “languishing.” Languishing seems a good term to describe this after-pandemic spirit. I have also used the word, melancholy to describe what the Pandemic has done. Melancholy is an old term and concept that indicates a sadness, grief, heaviness or darkness. The Pandemic certainly created a lot of losses so an undefined feeling of grief seems a natural response. I have asked folks, “What have you lost during this COVID pandemic?” The responses have been many and varied. There have been losses and some of those losses will not be able to be recovered. For example, we will never again be able to gather for a child’s first birthday. That child’s first birthday party will not happen again. Acknowledging our losses and grief is a healthy way of dealing with our sense of languishing or melancholy.

The Times They Are A-Changing

I am involved in professional or vocational transitions. At the beginning of this past academic year, I retired as an Adjunct Professor with The Baptist Seminary of Kentucky. From their beginning in 2002, I have taught Spiritual Formation courses; Pastoral Care and Counseling courses; and developed and taught the Contextual Ministry or practice of ministry courses. I was honored by being invited to be the Graduation speaker in May. I have had all of this year’s graduates in my classes and I am committed to their well-being and ministry I have been with the Interfaith Counseling Center from its beginning in 1995. As of July 1st, I will become the Co-Clinical Director of the Interfaith Counseling Center. I will share the responsibilities for quality therapy with a co-worker whom I trust and have worked with for many years. I am also training a young lady who will take over the administration aspects of the Counseling Center. These two moves are the result of a growing awareness that some transitions need to be made at the Counseling Center. I will continue to see clients and spiritual directees at the Center. I am, however, beginning the process of releasing some of the responsibilities at the Center to younger folks who have their own hopes and goals for themselves as well as for our Counseling Center. Any transition has both joy and grief. I will grieve or miss being the Director of the Counseling Center. I confess that I like to be in charge. My Enneagram is clearly a 2 but with a strong 1 and 3 wings. 2’s are the care-givers; 1’s like to make reforms or make things better (according to their ideas of what is better) and 3’s are achievers, they like to be in charge. “Yes,” those of you who know the Enneagram, I test strongly with both wings--I don’t easily fit into categories. My new task is to learn how to “let go.” Letting go means that I will need to adjust to new ideas, patterns, decisions, etc. that are not my ideas, patterns or decisions. I will always care about but no longer have the responsibility to care for the Center. Whatever else is involved in letting go, learning the difference between “caring about” and “caring “for” is significant. There is also joy in this transition because these new folks bring new energy and ideas. How or where they will lead the Center into the future is unknown to me. I trust them and acknowledge that things will change. They will have their own dreams and ideas. Will we move to a larger facility? Will we add additional Therapists? If so who will we add--one of the young persons is focused on neuroscience—how significant will that become? Another has been doing webinars-- will the Center offer webinars? During this COVID pandemic we have had to do virtual therapy. Our client load, via virtual therapy, has grown about a third this past year and expanded to surrounding states. It is going to be an exciting adjustment as well as a joy to see these new persons discern and guide the Interfaith Counseling Center into new ways of ministry.

Coincidences?

My longtime friend E. B. Smith was fond of saying that he did not believe in coincidences or providence. However, he would say, “It seems that the more I pray the luckier I seem to get.” Thanks E. B. for a wonderful lesson in theology and prayer.

My Squeaky Shoes

There are surely numerous reasons why these shoes squeak. They are old. They are what I used to call tennis shoes, although I have never played tennis so I really do not know what tennis player wear. I will not throw them out because they are full of memories and meaning. They were my brother’s favorite shoes. He wore them all of the time except when we went to Church and I would not permit him to wear them there. My brother, Bobby who was developmentally delayed, died in September 1997, although it seems only a few months ago. The shoes were his. The bottoms of the shoes are usually called the souls. That seems appropriate as our souls are what hold us together. The souls of those shoes have come loose in several places. However, guerrilla glue seems to mend them back together very efficiently—at least in my opinion. Perhaps that is one of the reasons that the shoes squeak. Their value is related to my brother’s memories; otherwise I suspect they are worthless and need to be replaced. An important life lesion is that there are some things in life that you cannot simply replace—my brother’s shoes are a wonderful example.

Margins

As a result of reading Dr. Swenson's book, MARGIN, I have used the word and concept much more frequently. I recommend his book. I realized tht I've been practicing margins for a long time. I don't like to make meetings or appointments back to back. I may want to hang around and chat. Keeping a margin in my schedule give my the option of such time. I may want to give myself some time to process things--that's a margin. I like to arrive early for meetings so I'm not rushed and that is a margin I put in my schedule. I've said to myself and to many others that we need to make our schedules carefully, thoughtfully, and prayerfully. However, we do not to become so obsessed with our schedules that it feels like we have to go through an emotional divorce when schedules change--which they will. I hope we can give ourselves the grace of some margins in our schedules.

Silence in Prayer

When we pray, it is important that we try to be quiet some of the time. We, who are in the church world, seem to be fond of words--especially our own. In prayer it is important to confess and share what is on our minds, even though God probably already knows. It is also important that we give God an opportunity to share with us what is on God’s mind. Perhaps God has a matter which God thinks we and the Holy Spirit need to work on. Those matters are often an attitude, behavior, spirit, etc. which is in one of our blind spots and one which God seeks to redeem. In prayer it is important that we listen to hear what is on God's mind.

The old river birch tree in the backyard is gone now. We brought her home in our car many years ago. She grew big and tall and was a great shade for these many years. Unfortunately, she couldn’t withstand the recent ice storm and broke. She was cut down and hauled away by the folks who do that type of work. I miss her. Sitting beside her stump this spring, I can see the sap rising, pooling on the top of the stump and running down the bark into the ground. I can imagine she is wondering where all of her limbs have gone as she continues trying to nourish them with her sap. Life continues to be living even if the tree has been cut down and hauled away. Maybe that’s what Easter or First Fruits is about. Life continues.

An Observation From My Recent Worship Wanderings

These past few months I have been ‘visiting’ many different churches, thanks to virtual or YouTube’s worship services and the requirement of not gathering because of COVID. I must confess that I like visiting various Churches of different denominations and experiencing their worship styles. This ‘visiting’ practice has greatly enlarged my sense of worship. I have never considered myself a great preacher or even a student of great preaching. Nevertheless, there is one thing that I have noticed in my recent worship wanderings. It is difficult to find sermons that have a primary focus on national, social, or cultural concerns or what I would call the peace and justice issues. Things like our anxieties of the gay and transgendered issue; cultural or systemic racial prejudices; our anxieties about the foreigner or immigration policies; etc. The sermons that I have found seem primarily focused with personal or individual issues such as: hope, peace, forgiveness, redemption, joy, etc. There is nothing wrong with these issues. Who does not want these qualities? However, these qualities are also related to our larger world; not just me, my family, and our well-being. We are connected to each other. When one of us is hurting, all of us are hurting. The answer to the Biblical question, “Am I my brother’s (and sister’s) keeper?”, is “Yes.” Unfortunately, I have not yet found much of this from my recent ‘worship wanderings.’ I think it may have been William Sloane Coffin, former Pastor of New York’s Riverside Church, who said that he would stop preaching about social issues when politicians stopped making laws that affected God’s children. I believe in the separation of Church and partisan politics but not a hard separation of Church and State because we are in this world together.

Right To Life, cont'd

I am also a right-to-life believer when I think of the environment. We are killing ourselves and each other when we ignore the destruction of the environment which holds life in a delicate balance created by God. We must respect that delicate balance and not destroy the environment for the gain of cheaper oil/gas and lumber so that greater profits can be made for the large companies and our stock market portfolio and/or so that we can drive very large, gas-guzzling automobiles and live-in larger houses. I am a right-to-life believer in that I do not support the death penalty. The government does not have the right to take a life any more than to think a government can create a life. I am a right-to-life believer as I believe every person needs a salary from honest work that permits them to have life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, which includes adequate food, clothing, and shelter. When large companies pay millions to their leaders who then say the company can only pay $11 per hour for those who help make them their millions, something is wrong and, I believe it is at right-to-life issue. My desire is that we are consistent when we use the phrase “right-to-life” and not make it a bumper sticker for only one issue, however important that one issue may be.

Right To Life

I believe in ‘right-to-life.’ I do not think abortions are to be used as birth control. Nevertheless, I do think that abortion is to be available to women and their families for those situations when to continue the pregnancy is a risk to the mother’s life; the fetus cannot live outside of the womb; the pregnancy is the result of rape and/or incest. I think such abortions are to be done in hospitals with Physician’s surgical assistance. I am a right-to-life believer if the mother chooses to carry to birth a child who is handicapped then the ‘government,’ and that means all of us, are to provide the necessary support, including financial, as that child and family develops.

Gratefulness, The Prescription For Greed

Gratefulness is the prescription for our disease of greed. Greed will attempt (tempt or temptation) to convince us that more is better. More money, clothes, vacations, etc. Greed will even tempt us to believe that reading more verses of scripture is better than reading a few with thoughtful, soulful prayer. Yes, greed even slips into our spiritual life. Our healing of greed will involve gratitude. Learning to be grateful for what we have will give us the gift of peace and contentment. This prescription sounds easy, except that greed will not go away easily or quickly. Greed will slip into our minds and actions so subtly that often we are not able to recognize the greed until we have succumbed to its temptation. Greed is never satisfied—it will motivate us to think that a little bit more is all that is necessary and then we will be satisfied. Practicing gratefulness on a daily, even hourly, basis will be a helpful spiritual discipline to discipline our temptations of greed. I encourage you to look at the YouTube video entitled, “Good Day,” by Brother David Steindl-Rast to learn more about gratefulness.-

Pleased To See 2021

We have had an unusual 2020 and pleased to see 2021 arrive. This COVID pandemic altered much of the way we do life. Judy and I wear masks and try to social distance. I taught at BSK via Zoom. I also retired from BSK after 18 years. I do about half of my counseling practice at the Center via Zoom or Skype. Due to a slip on the ice in February, I tore my left quad tendon which required surgery and physical therapy. In October I passed out and fell on my face giving myself a concussion along with stitches in my eyelid, lip, and chin. After numerous tests and Physicians’ visits, the cause of my passing out is still undetermined, which means more tests. I had a 79th birthday. Judy had cataract surgery and now sees without glasses. Her arthritis is a constant and unwelcome companion resulting in limited mobility. Our son returned from living 3 years in California bringing back with him a lady-friend and her two young-adult sons. He has also changed his work from Sam’s to Kroger’s (a large grocery chain) pharmacy. I pray that your life in 2021 will be healthy and meaningful. I do not believe in superstition, but just in case, we are having black-eyed peas today.