Appetites Which Can Never Be Satisfied

Alan Watts in his book, The Wisdom of Insecurity, writes that we have, “… appetites which can never be satisfied—so designed that if you try to allay them finally and fully in one big ‘bust,’ you get sick.” (p, 39-40). Evagrius, the 4th century monk, spoke of 8 passions, with which we need to be cautious, and the first one he mentioned was gluttony. Those ‘appetites’ or ‘passions’ are not only related to food; they also involve our appetite or passion for money, power, influence, security, safety, etc. That list is endless. It is not that these things are bad or evil in themselves; the problem with them is that they can never be fully satisfied. If we are not careful with them, their drive, push, pull, etc. can make us ‘sick’ not only physically but, also, mentally, emotionally, socially, financially, spiritually, etc. Out task, so it seems to me, is to discern ‘how much is enough.’ That question of ‘how much is enough’ is a soul question rather than an ego question. When we have a sense of how much is enough, contentment and peace become a gift.

Our Controlling "Stories"

I have been reading and studying about the “stories” that control our lives. Our “stories” may have been true at one time but not now. For example, a person grows up in poverty and continues to believe that story even though he/she has more than sufficient money at present and little likelihood that they will someday run out of funds. Another example, a person grows up in a family that filled him/her with dreams of exceptionalism. That individual still believes he/she is an exception and now acts as if he/she does not need to keep the rules because, after all, he/she is the exception. It is difficult to move beyond our former “stories” that helped frame us with an identity. Those former “stories” whether true or not continue to have an outsized influence on our lives unless we learn new “stories” about ourselves and our lives.

Trusting my Dreams or Unconscious

I received a note from our County Clerk that I had failed to put our automobile registration forms in with our request for renewal of licenses. I was puzzled. I looked in the place where for years we have always kept those papers and they were absent. I went to our autos, and they were not there either. I was puzzled. I went to bed. Sometime during the night, I was informed by my unconscious in a dream-like-state that those papers were with our last year’s tax reports. Why they would be there is also a puzzle and a place I would never think to look. The next morning, however, I pulled out our tax forms and those registration papers were there. This experience reinforces my belief that my unconscious mind knows more than either my conscious or subconscious mind is aware of. I continue to want to trust and be aware of my unconscious mind and its message to me via those dreams or dream-like-states.

Fear and Greed Have Won This Election

The election is over, and, in my assessment, fear and greed won. From the news it seems as if the major issue motivating the votes, was the economy. There is not sufficient money to go around. Everyday prices of groceries and gasoline are going up. Those at the top of the economic systems are taking too much of the money and not sharing it with those workers in the middle or at the bottom of the systems therefore, we have strikes. Strikes reveal an unfair economic system of organizations. I would think a more equitable distribution would be the answer. We have forgotten the lesson we learned in kindergarten which was to share. However, organizations only raise the cost of their product which cycles the inequity. Those old desert fathers and mothers wrote about greed and said that the underlying issue was fear of insufficiency. Unfortunately, I do not believe Churches have a good word to say about this situation because Churches seem to think that bigger is better, even when their getting bigger means that small neighborhood or parish Churches, like small, neighborhood businesses, must close their doors. This election troubles me because I think it reveals fear, and greed has possessed us like a demon. Fear and greed have won this election.

What Is Happening?

This election discourages me. Not only the candidates, or at least one of the candidates, but the anger that is being demonstrated in our nation. We are the most blessed country in the world in terms of jobs, access to healthcare and education, housing, etc. There are no bombs being dropped onto our cities. There is no national war on our streets. Our nation is a peaceful nation. Of course there are issues. I am concerned about climate change. I am uncomfortable with so many military type guns on our streets, especially among young adults. I think there is too much prejudice, etc. I ask myself, “So, why are we so angry?” Have we grown numb to our blessings that we take those blessings for granted? I am reminded that St. Aquinas wrote that the most dangerous temptations are internal, and they are the seeking of power, along with wealth, pleasure, and honor. Maybe we are so angry because we do not know how to manage power, wealth, pleasure and/or honor.

Buddhism

The more I read and learn what the Buddha taught his followers, the more I believe that he was full of the Holy Spirit. So, I read and desire to learn from the Buddha/Buddhism because I do not want to turn away from teachings of the Holy Spirit. I question my friends who say that the Buddha was not a “Christian” to which I reply, “Well, of course not. The Buddha lived 500 to 600 years before the time of Christ”. I also wonder when they say they do not want to be influenced by Buddhism as they are on their way to a yogi class or talk about practicing mindfulness. I believe there is more to God than we think or believe. A quote from the Buddha as reported by Mark Nepo in his wonderful book, FALLING DOWN AND GETTING UP. “Act always as if the future of the universe depends on what you do, while laughing at yourself for thinking that whatever you do makes any difference.” (p. 137)

What is the cost of not changing?

I frequently see individuals, in my therapy practice, who are stuck. That person may might stuck in a relationship, job, behavioral patterns, attitude, etc. They continually choose not to risk a move such as changing their thinking, seeing new possibilities, leaving a relationship or a job. They resist the arduous task of self-discipline that begins to alter a behavior, relationship, job expectations, the way a business or Church operates, etc. Too often, at least in my thinking, the individual cannot imagine other possibilities, or they deny and/or avoid them, so they continue to stay stuck in the issues that are causing the problems. When they come to see me, I usually hear the same continual complaints. I frequently ask them the question, “What is it costing you not to change?” They are often puzzled by my question because they have never considered the costs of not changing. What does it cost to stay stuck? Change has a cost but, also, not to change has a cost.

Questions Will Guide You

A book of immense wisdom is Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet. He writes, “Have patience with everything unresolved and try to love the questions themselves.” It is the questions which will guide you on your journey. If you already have the answer(s), you will not notice or heed the guide or Spirit because, for you with the answers, you think your journey is finished.

Float With the Flow

Today was one of those days that happened as it was supposed to happen; none of which involved the plans I had made for the day. Peace and contentment involve going with the flow, trusting there is a power or elusive presence that is in control and my choice is to be willing to release control and float with the flow.

It is I, Don't Be Afraid

My gospel reading for today was from John 6, “Walking on water.” The disciples had evidently gone by boat during the night to the other side of the sea. They experienced a storm and were frightened. What frightened them? Perhaps the storm although as fishmen surely, they had experienced storms on the sea. Perhaps it was a vision of a person who was standing or walking on the water amid the storm. I suspect it was both. My hopeful prayer is whenever we are caught in any type of storm, perhaps health, financial, marital, family, social, spiritual, etc. we will have spiritual eyes that see an elusive presence and spiritual ears that hear “It is I, do not be afraid.”

Religion and Politics

As I read the gospels, it was the religious folks in corporation with the political folks who killed Jesus. Those religious folks in the Bible were those who were absolutely convinced that they were the correct religion and others who were different were unacceptable unless they become converted to became like them. Those political folks in the Bible were those who listened to the population and did what they thought the population wanted. That gospel history sounds very much like our contemporary situation. Political leaders who are concerned about the numbers, such as polls, size of their crowds, etc. Religious and political leaders who will not listen to something that is different than what they already believe

Patience

There is a difference between my patience and God’s patience. My patience has a short fuse. I am willing to be patient if whatever I am waiting for does not last too long. Yes, “too long” implies that I decide what is or is not too long. God’s patience has a longer fuse. For example, in the story of Joseph, he was sold and imprisoned due to jealousy in the family. However, because of his ability to help the ruler see what the dreams might mean, he eventually became a type of prime minister. As prime minister he stored food so that the people could survive a famine. during which his family, including those brothers who abandoned him, came for help due to their famine. Note that this time lapse was more than 25 years. Joseph interpreted this in terms of God’s care or patience. God’s patience did not happen quickly. God does not think of time or patience as I do and that is a growing edge for me and probably many others.

Some of my Thoughts About Discernment

1. Discernment means that we wait for God’s plan(s) to be revealed. It is not a Biblical practice to make plans and then expect God to bless them because we are good people. (“Thanks,” Henry Blackaby). 2. “Obedience is not obedience until you disagree with God.” (“Thanks,” Katie Zettle of Seadbed.com 8-2-24). 3. ‘Indifference’ is the first step in discernment otherwise self or ego is usually leading the process which is not discernment [see #1]. (“Thanks,” St. Ignatius). 4. One of the most difficult phases of discernment is to “hold space” until the Spirit gives clear guidance. Active waiting in prayer, silence, scripture, etc. is a spiritual discipline/practice. 5. Discernment is not about choosing between good and evil because our minds and will, trained by spiritual practices and truths, can discern the difference. Discernment is about pleasing God. Charles Spurgeon said discernment is about choosing the good or the almost good. 6. Discernment is a gift from God. I cannot give myself spiritual discernment. Discernment requires relinquishing control. 7. The discipline of discernment is much like therapy as we ask, “Where is this thought, idea, plan, feeling, etc. coming from?” Discernment is “testing the spirits.” 1 John 4:1 – “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” Many of those “false prophets” or ideas are not only in the world but, have also, gotten into our minds, thoughts, feelings, plans, etc.

Growth is Not Always Comfortable

I frequently read books by Dr. James Hollis, and I often recommend his books. His writing is not always an easy read, but it is worthwhile reading. In his book, Living Between Worlds, he lists some marks of mature spirituality. First, he mentions respecting the mystery of life and God. God is mystery. Be cautious of certainty. Doubt can be an invitation to growth or further study whereas certainty can be a reason to cease growing and accept only that which reinforces what we already think. Second, growth is obligatory. If life is not growing; it dies. Growth motivates us to go beyond and deeper than that which is comfortable. Growth involves a series of transitions, and transitions require our letting go of what has been, so we can see and enter what is new and ahead of us. We often resist growth and settle for comfort. Comfort is good but it also has the capability to imprison a person. When Jesus said “Follow me” growth was the goal, not comfort.

Moving is Stressful

During these past several weeks we have been moving the Counseling Center from our downtown location to a suburb location. This move is a good thing as it provides us with more room and handicapped accessibility. Moving is stressful. Hans Selye, a Hungarian Canadian physician, studied and wrote about stress. He described both eustress and distress. A eustress is the stress accumulated by a person during a good thing, such as planning for a birthday party. Eustress is beneficial stress, the prefix “eu” means good. We know about distress and when we use the concept of “stress” we usually mean distress. Both eustress and distress are stressful. They are primarily experienced by the body and may exhibit both physical symptoms and behaviors. This is the principle of ‘I think I am doing better than I am.’ Transitions, such as moving, are stressful endeavors. As a part of my adjusting to this move transition, I want to be aware of the stress, i.e., eustress as well as distress, which I am experiencing in my body as well as by my behaviors as I adjust and adapt to this move, which is a good thing, but which also has consequences of which I desire to be mindful.

War No More

One of my all-time favorite songs is Bobby Darin’s, Simple Song of Freedom and especially the line “We Don’t Want War Anymore.” I think of that song as I see the news about the wars in Gaza and Ukraine. I think the Israel government is creating a generational anger and hostility that will play itself out for generations to come. Today’s leaders are creating Palestinian young people who will haunt the middle east with their anger long after these present leaders have passed from this life. I think the same for the Ukraine young people who will have an angry and hostile attitude toward Russia. The Bible speaks of the sins of the fathers playing out by later generations. Numbers 14:18, “The Lord is slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the parents upon the children to the third and fourth generation.” I believe our world would be a better place for generations to come if we did not want war anymore and our leaders reflected this spirit.

Are These the Best That Can Be Offered?

I did not listen to the Presidential Candidates debate last evening. I suppose this means that I need not be making judgements but, nevertheless, here is my opinion.The morning news reports that Biden did not do well. I did not think the “debate” would really be a debate but an argument, like school kids arguing on the playground. My concern is "Are these two candidates the best the two political parties have to offer the USA?" Surely there are more capable and moral individuals who can offer leadership for our country. Lord, in Your mercy.

How Much Is Enough?

The gospel writer, Luke, describer Pharisees as “lovers of money” (Luke 16:14, NRSV). If that is one of the descriptions of pharisees then I think they may be of both the conservative as well as liberal branch of humanity. I think a “lover of money” may want more of it than they need. A “lover of money” may think it is security and therefore refuse to let go of any. Both have a characteristic of hoarding. As a psychotherapist, I often ask someone who seems preoccupied with money, “How much is enough?” If we have not prayed and thought about that question, we may not know how much is enough which sets us up for insecurity, greed and hoarding.

Go Inside And Ask

“Quietism, a doctrine of Christian spirituality that, in general, holds that perfection consists in passivity (quiet) of the soul, in the suppression of human effort so that divine action may have full play”. (Google) This was a belief in the 1600’s which was later deemed a heresy. I heard of a man who went up and down the main street of his hometown looking for work. When someone asked why he was having such a difficult time finding a job, he replied that no one had a sign in their window. His friend replied, “You have to go inside and ask if they are hiring.” In the next few days, he went inside asked about a job and was hired. Yes, God is at work and does wonderful things for us, but we still must go inside and ask. I believe there is mutuality at work. It is not the belief that God helps those who help themselves, but we follow the leading of God’s Spirit through prayer and then we must “go inside and ask.” That man was my dad and he worked for that furniture store more than forty years.

A Pentecost Prayer

On this day in 2024 during which we recall Pentecost, I pray for God’s spirit to move like a strong, even violent wind, among those who sell, support, use and are victims of military guns on the streets of America. Lord, in Your mercy we need wisdom and healing. I also pray for God’s Spirit to move like a strong, even violent wind, in the lands of Gaza where forces have over-reacted to the violent and awful killings in the land of Israel by Hamas. Military guns and weapons, again, being used in anger and revenge. I am praying for the people of Ukraine who are victims of a national leader who is unable to respect national boundaries. Again, there are military guns and weapons used in anger and greed. Lord, in Your mercy. Lord, we need Your Spirit both in our world and our hearts.

Life Lessons From My Computer Scheduling

I changed the name of my counseling sessions in our on-line scheduling app. My changes messed up my on-line schedules. I worked on it numerous times, all of which were unsuccessful. Finally, I asked for help from our resident "IT guru," Jennifer. The fix for my schedule was simple. I followed her instructions and indeed my on-line schedule became accurate. It seemed to me there are some important life lessons. First, I had to want to get my schedule fixed. Second, I had to ask someone who knew what to do and, indeed, the answer was simple. Third, I had to undo some of the stuff I had been doing to get to the fix. So, the life lessons from my on-line schedule app are: (1) you need to want to change; (2) be humble enough to ask for help and (3) you may have to undo some of the thoughts, feelings, behaviors, patterns, stuff, etc. that you have been doing in the past to get to a healthy fix.

Who Is In and Who Is Out?

Who is in and who is out? I grew up in a church culture that believed everyone who was not like us and believed like us were out. Out of whatever the eternal goal might be. As I think about that attitude now, it seems arrogant. I was taught from John 3:16 that God loves the world. Does that mean God really does not love the entire world; just my part of it. I now think it is entirely possible that God’s Spirit, which blows wherever it wants to blow according to the Christian scriptures (John 3:8), might have been the inspirer for Mohammed, Buddha, Lao Taz, the tribal leaders in Africa and Native Americans, etc. We are not in control of God’s Spirit to do whatever that Spirit chooses to do. I think it is wise to let God be the one to decide who is in and who is out; not me, because my vision is too narrow and exclusive, although I am trying with the Spirit’s help to enlarge that vision.

What does it really mean to “be a Christian?”

What does it really mean to “be a Christian?” In my growing up years, this meant joining a particular church and affirming their beliefs which were usually stated in creeds, doctrines or printed on the back page of the hymnal. We read these with some frequency in the Church services as a way of reminding ourselves now only who we were but, also, what we believed. I now label this “tribal religion” or “imbedded religion.” It was what my family, friends and Church, aka, the “tribe” taught me. It was what all these folks whom I loved and who loved me believed and taught me; it was “imbedded” as a significant aspect of my growing up. Now at a more mature age, I wonder “Is this really what it means to be a Christian?” In my practice as a psychotherapist, I often tell folks to “read a person’s behavior because that will be a more accurate insight into their values and beliefs.” Jesus said something like this “By their fruits you will know them” (Matthew7:15). James, Jesus’ brother wrote, “What good is it, my brothers [and sisters] if you say you have faith but do not have works” (James 2:14). Sounds to me like claiming to be a Christian involves one’s behaviors which is more than membership, creeds, doctrines, etc.

The Southern Walls

I am not a supporter of the southern walls to keep out the families of the southern hemisphere. I think those walls are monuments to our fears. Unless you are a native American, you are an immigrant. We have forgotten that reality. If the families of the southern hemisphere feel like they must leave their native country for their safety and security, why are not our political leaders and people asking what is happening in those native countries and can we help so they feel safe and secure at home? I cannot help but also notice that the American Churches are silent about this major event happening in our country. The Hebrew Bible says (Malachi 3:5) ESV “Then I will draw near to you for judgment. I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely, against those who oppress the hired worker in his wages, the widow and the fatherless, against those who thrust aside the sojourner, and do not fear me, says the Lord of hosts.” “Thrust aside the sojourner…” = ouch. Jesus said we are to welcome the stranger (Matthew 25:35) which is part of his statement about how the nations will be judged. “Ouch” again. Why are our Churches silent? What fear or fears have imprisoned us, our leaders, and churches? I recall an old tale that is so true. Folks were finding others who were near drowning in the river and as an act of charity, they were pulling them out of the river. Someone finally asked, “Do you think someone needs to go upstream and find out why so many are in the river?”

Clothes, a Spiritual Discipline

Clothing is important but we may make them too important. Their purpose is to cloth the body and keep the body warm or cool--depending on the season of the year. Clothes do not make the person. Clothes are best if simple and have not put a burden on others, usually the poor of other countries, to produce them. I wish more of us would check the clothing labels and discern where the item was made. They may hve been made in sweat shops and by children in poor countries and our purchase is supporting that practice. When any type of clothing is purchased it would be a healthy spiritual practice to give a comparable piece of clothing to a charity. It has been said that if we really wanted to know what greed looks like, we might look in our closets. Clothing ourselves and families is a spiritual discipline.

Christian Nationalism?

How did we permit the phrase “Christian Nationalism” to become stolen from us who know and love the Bible and become a political phrase? If by Christian Nationalism, we mean what Jesus said in Matthew 25 then I am a Christian Nationalist. I believe our nation’s priorities are to be welcoming the stranger who may be of another faith, skin color, language, culture, etc.; taking care of widows and orphans which surely involves universal health care; feeding all who are hungry; taking care of those who have been imprisoned so that they can be fully incorporated and welcomed back into society; making sure everyone has adequate and healthy water to drink which must involve taking care of the earth; seeing that everyone has adequate clothing especially in wintry weather. I did not make up this list of priorities. It is Jesus’ priorities and He said this is how the nations will be judged. I do not believe Biblical Christian Nationalism involves building walls to keep out the strangers, reducing food for the poor, building bigger prisons, shrinking income for the widows and orphans, or permitting a city’s drinking water to become foul. I think we need to let the Bible and Jesus speak for themselves and stop using them for our political and self-serving interests.

Read the Behavior

It angers me when individuals and groups, especially in the political arena, use Biblical terms, phrases, and concepts for their own personal or political agenda with no understanding about what the scriptures mean. We interpret scriptures to fit our personal agendas rather than the work of self-discipline so that our agendas match the scriptures. The answer is stated in the sentence—the need for self-discipline. It also frustrates me when I see those individuals, especially political figures, claiming to be Christian but their personal and political actions say otherwise. I tell my clients in the consulting room, “Read the person’s behavior and there you will find the truth.” Words are easily spoken but behavior, especially habitual behavior like one’s character, is the work of self-discipline which comes neither quickly nor easily. I fear we are creating a very shallow Christianity which is not at all as Jesus taught.

The Quote on the White Board

I was visiting the Abbey of Gethsemani this past weekend and noticed a saying that someone had written on the white board. I asked several of the monks who wrote the saying and was it original. The couple of monks whom I asked did not realize that the quote was there, and they did not know who wrote it or if it was original. I think it is a great quote and one that would help nearly all of us if we could follow it. That quote is “Almost everything is none of my business.” Thanks to whomever for a significant lesson about life.

Those 8 "Passions"

I will be vigilant about my “passions or energies” (later named the ‘deadly sins’— “wrongly” I think, but that is for a blog). Those passions, energies or shall we name them “demons” or “gods” (note the lack of a capital letter) are (1) gluttony (wanting more than I need), (2) lust (desiring others for my pleasure or benefit), (3) greed (thinking about scarcity or I may not have enough), (4) sadness (focusing on what I did not get or have), (5) anger (frustration with not getting what I want), (6) acedia (boredom; restlessness; jumping to the newest, most exciting, things, etc.), (7) vainglory (thinking too highly of myself), and (8) pride (taking credit for what others and God have done). The purpose of these energies is (1st) to blind me to their presence and (2nd) to infect me in such a manner as to diminish and eventually destroy my joy, peace, and contentment. My desire is to be aware that these energies/demons are always nearby. They will never go away or be completely extinguished because they are a part of who I am; therefore, I want to be alert and sensitive to all of them. I will set strong and appropriate boundaries with all of them. (“Thanks”, Evagrius [345-399]. Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274) called these “sins of the spirit” which, he said, are more dangerous than sins of the flesh).

The Gates

Psalm 24:7-10 says “Lift up your gates and let the Lord come in.” I know this Psalm was meant for the city of Jerusalem. Open the gates of the city and let the Lord come in to reign. We do not have any gates around the city where I live. I do wonder as I meditate on this Psalm what are the “gates” that I have put down that keep the Lord out of my life? Pride is surely such a gate as is vain glory. I too often think too much of myself, my ideas, and plans, etc. Control is such a gate. Control begins in childhood, “I can do it myself so leave me alone!” I fear that has been my attitude about many things, “Lord, I will take over now.” Usually, this spirit can be diagnosed when I make my plans and then ask for the Lord’s blessing. That spirit is not a teaching in the scriptures. I have a friend who refers to the “911 God.” I will call on You, Lord, when there is trouble. I think there are many “gates” in our lives, attitudes, behaviors, etc. which keep the Lord outside. Psalm 24 is correct, we need to lift those gates and ask that the Lord come in.

A Cold Weather Response

The cold weather has blown into central Kentucky. It is hovering around zero degrees. During such fierce weather, I am concerned about those without adequate shelter, including the homeless. There may not be much that I can personally do for them, but I can send money to those organizations, such as Salvation Army, God’s Pantry, Catholic Action Center and many others, that do provide personal assistance. I can also pray and suggest that others will send money because these organizations will see an increase in their utilities and food costs. I also pray that churches would want to open their warm facilities to provide shelter, water, and food. Opening their facilities would require volunteers as well as increasing their utilities and food costs. Nevertheless, I think opening facilities, volunteering, and/or sending money is what Jesus would do.

Institutional Church

I have been a member of the staff of a Baptist Church for 52 years. I have been a student Pastor, Family Life Minister, Pastor, and Pastoral Counselor. As of January 2024, I am no longer on the staff of a Baptist Church and “No,” I have not retired, just altered how I am paid. I think I am ready to leave the institutional Church and its staff positions. I am having difficulty affirming the institution of Church with its denominational arguing, large buildings that are mainly empty during the week, programming primarily for its members, etc. I suspect the real church which Jesus described in the 25th chapter of Matthew’s gospel meets in Alcohol Anonymous and Al-Anon meetings, in food pantry distribution places, where they are building homes for those without shelter, in homeless shelters, etc. I have experienced the presence of God’s Spirit in some conversations that happen in my consulting room as a therapist. I suspect God’s Spirit is alive, changing and redeeming lives in thousands of consulting rooms with therapists who may or may not think of their consulting rooms as places of worship. I believe that God’s Spirit is alive, well and redeeming in thousands of places that are not thought of as places where a person would expect God. God seems not to fit our expectations of a god.