Trust and Anxiety

It was 1995 and my soul knew it was time to leave the Church where I had been serving as Pastor for 16 years. The relationship between myself and the Church was wonderful. The Church was growing. Nevertheless, something in me was alerting me to the reality that it was time to move on. “Move on” to what? We, my wife, and I did not know. We were anxious about this anticipated change because it was significant. A friend, who was a Catholic Priest and a Spiritual Director, said that perhaps I would need to trust God sufficiently to leave before I knew what I was going to. His words did not help our anxiety. Nevertheless, that summer, I read my letter of resignation to the Church. They were confused. What had they done? Nothing, everything was fine. Did I need more money, a larger staff, etc.? No, the reason was within me, and I could not clearly explain to them. Today, I recall Jesus’ invitation to the disciples, “Come follow me.” Jesus did not tell them where he was going, how long he would be gone, what was going to happen, etc. Jesus only said, “Come follow me.” That summer of 1995 produced a great deal of anxiety within my wife and me. That anxiety, however, has become the source of one of our most significant spiritual lessons about what it really means to trust God. The invitation is simple, complex and produces great anxiety, “Come, follow me.”