Interfaith

My imbedded theology (imbedded = what I learned as a child or what mama and them taught me) was that anyone who did not believe as I believed, a “Baptist” Christian, needed to be converted. My introduction to Interfaith dialogue came with an invitation from my friend, Dr. John Parks. He was gathering a group of folks from various faith groups so we could discuss our faiths with the goal of mutual understanding, not conversion. In the mid-1980’s I joined. We met in someone’s home without drinks, snacks, etc. We met each month for one and one-half hours. We arrived and left on time without a lot of private conversations. We would choose a topic for each month such as Holy Scriptures, sin, redemption, life after death, etc. We were Christian, (Roman Catholic, Orthodox and Protestant) as well as Muslim, Buddhist, Hindus, Bahai, Confucian, Jainism, etc. We met for several years. My world expanded from these Interfaith conversations. I learned to love and care about these persons. Several of them became dear friends. Hanging in the Counseling Center is a poster, “Signs of Inner Peace” that was gifted to me by Brother Don, a Buddhist monk, from our group. Most importantly I learned to love and respect them as well as their faith, religious beliefs, culture, language, Holy Books, etc. and they loved and respected me and my faith.

Calming the Mind

Therapists have called our mind’s activity “The Monkey Mind.” The mind, like monkeys, jumps from one limb to another while chattering all the time. Freud wrote somewhere that we are not even master in our own house (mind), but that we must remain content with the scraps of information about what is going on unconsciously in our minds. How can I calm my mind, especially this monkey mind? Writers such as Roger Walsh in ESSENTIAL SPIRITUALITY recommends that we do one thing at a time. The self-discipline of concentration will help to calm one’s mind. I like that prescription of concentration and one thing at a time. I try not to be a multi-tasker because I know that I will eventually mess up whatever I am doing or trying to do. Multi-tasking usually has to do with being in a hurry. If I do not have the necessary time to do something correctly and with my full attention the first time, how will I find the necessary time to correct the mistakes I made or said? One thing at a time and with my full attention, is surprisingly good advice and a wonderful prescription for calming one’s mind.

Faith Is Not Bargaining

Faith is trusting God regardless of the outcome. When a person says, “I am trusting God for ___________.” That is not faith, that is bargaining. I do not see any justification in scriptures that we have Biblical permission to name this attitude, faith. Faith is when Jesus said “…yet not what I want but what you want.” (Matthew 26:39, NRSV). Paul’s message regarding his faith testimony is “I have learned to be content with whatever I have.” (Philippians 4:11, NRSV). I have heard many testimonies in which God has blessed a person’s faith with wonderful experiences or results. I do not doubt that is true. I wish, however, we also heard testimonies in which the person said they have faith in God and either not much happened or things in their life deteriorated, yet they still had faith in God. That is also true. It seems to me that the lesson from the Psalms is to trust God regardless of the circumstances. A person’s faith in God is not dependent upon specific results of faith. Genuine faith does not attach itself to any outcome. Faith just is. Faith is not bargaining.

What Is a Contemplative?

In my practice at The Interfaith Counseling Center, I often collaborate with a person as a spiritual director or counselor. The person often asks if I am a contemplative. Before I can answer, I ask them about their idea of a contemplative. They often describe someone who spends hours in daily prayer and has mystic experiences. I do not fit that description. I do, however, spend time each morning in prayer and scripture reading. When I read the Bible and other ‘spiritual’ books, I try to ask myself the question, “What is God wanting me to learn and apply from this reading?” This question is like the Lectio Divina practice. I read not only for understanding but, also, so the scriptures can read me. I am never certain what makes something a mystical experience. Is sitting on the porch and listening to the birds singing a mystical experience? Maybe Yes or maybe No. In a recent reading of Bede Griffiths autobiography, I highlighted his definition of contemplation because I like it. “Contemplation is a habit of mind which enables the soul to keep in a state of recollection in the presence of God whatever may be the work with which we are occupied” (The Golden String, An Autobiography, Bede Griffiths. page 148.) Whatever a person may be doing, to be aware and sensitive to God’s abiding presence is contemplation. If this is true, then perhaps more of us are, or will desire to be, contemplatives.

Gratefulness

I recently spent the day at the Abbey of Gethsemani. I try to go there about once a month. Yesterday was an unusual day. Seventeen of the monks were isolated due to the spread of COVID. The 12:15 and 2:15 prayer services were not held in the Church but in their individual rooms. It was a quiet day. I sat outside in the cool breeze, watching the beautiful white clouds gently moving along and wrote in my journal. My journal writings were primarily about all the events for which I was grateful. Too often I get so busy in the activities of the day as well as thinking and planning about those events that are on my future calendar that I fail to stop, feel the weather, watch the clouds, and give expression of my thanksgiving. As Brother David Steindl-Rast has written, “Happiness does not make us grateful, but gratefulness makes us happy.”

Acceptance

In my more than fifty years of practice as a therapist/counselor, I think the biggest impediment to a person’s wellbeing is their inability to accept what is. We want more than what is reality. We want a bigger house, better job, prettier wife, slimmer husband, smarter children, etc. We refuse to accept the limitations of getting older. In the 1960’s William Glasser developed a type of therapy called Reality Therapy. Reality therapy is about accepting what is. Our Asian colleagues who write about therapy, wellbeing, health, etc. teach us about not being overly attached to our expectations. We expect our house to be bigger and have a better job, prettier wife, slimier husband as well as smarter children, etc. and it is these expectations that cause us suffering, anxiety, stress, worry, depression, confusion, etc. This does not mean that we cannot have goals; it means that they need to be accepting of our real-life situation. Expectations rather than acceptance create a lot of discomfort in and among us. I have a friend whose response, usually with a smile, to whatever may be happening is “Well, it is what it is.” I think it is not unusual that he is one of the most contented and happy people that I know. He is also one of those persons that other’s desire to be around.

The Garden of Eden Tree of Good and Evil

It seems to me when God did not want Adam and Eve to eat from the tree of good and evil, it was not that God did not want them/us to become knowledgeable but, it was that God knew we would not be able to manage such knowledge of good and evil. God knew with this knowledge we would be able to make a drug such as OxyContin, to relieve significant pain but, also, God knew that we would not be able to manage that knowledge, and some of us would get addicted and use the medicine for evil purposes. God knew we would discover minerals in the earth, such as coal, which could keep us warm in the winter and fire our industries. God seems to have known that we would not have been able to manage this knowledge and we would end up destroying God’s created earth to get more than we needed. We would want more of it, which is also known as greed. We would discover that coal could ‘make’ money and often more money than we really needed. So, it seems to me that we now possess the knowledge of good and evil, but we are not able to manage such knowledge very well. The knowledge of good and evil has become both a blessing and a curse or both good and evil for us.

Be Nice

One of the mantras with which I grew up was “be nice.” I was taught to be nice by folks that I loved and who loved me. Since I wanted to please them, I wanted to be nice. They wanted what was best for me which included being thought of as a nice person. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be nice. However, as I study the gospels, I learn that Jesus was not always a nice person. Jesus was not nice to his mother and brothers who came to talk with him (Matthew 12:46-50). He implied that a woman from Canaan was like a ‘dog.’ She was “nice enough”, however. to challenge him and therefore received healing (Matthew 15:21-28). He said to one of his most faithful followers, Peter, that his thoughts were Satanic (Matthew 16: 21-23). That was not nice. Jesus did not even act nice at Church (Matthew 21:12-13). He called the religious leaders of his day by some names that were not nice (Matthew 23:1-36). I am not suggesting that we need to be intentionally mean-spirited, but sometimes telling the truth is not “nice.” I have a picture of a rag doll being put through an old fashion washing machine ringer and the wording says, “The truth will set you free but first it will make you miserable.” One of my concerns is that it seems the goal of too many Jesus followers as well as churches is--“be nice.”

It Really Is About the Heart

The Interfaith Counseling Center has four of the most talented and wonderfully gifted Therapists. A group of women in a Bible Study, asked how we were able to find and keep such great Therapists. My response was that we looked for individuals who had a genuine heart for others, especially those individuals who were struggling with stress, anxiety, sadness, conflict, etc. We also looked for individuals who wanted to be continual students rather than those who thought they already knew all they needed to know. At our Center, we can teach and help each other how to help someone who is struggling with these issues in their personal life, their marriage, at work or wherever these issues arise. What we cannot teach is the “heart” issue. We cannot teach someone to care for others genuinely and lovingly. That is a gift from God which must be continually nurtured. Just as Jesus “called” the Apostles, I believe God “called” the Therapists at the Interfaith Counseling Center and I am grateful that God included me. It really is about the heart; more than skills, knowledge, and techniques, even though these are important, they are not the most significant. We ask potential Therapists, "Do you have a heart for individuals and couples who are struggling?"

I Choose to Believe that Someone, other than me, is in Charge

What if Bobby, my brother, had not been developmentally disabled due to a birth accident, would we have moved to Norman where the University of Oklahoma had a special education class? Would I have met Dr. Hallock, Pastor of First Baptist Church? What if I had married my High School girl friend, would I have ever gone to OBU? What if Dr. Hallock had not taken me to OBU and introduced me to President Scales, would I have gone to Baylor as I was thinking? What if Judy had not invited me to the movie during ‘twirp’ (the woman is requested to pay) week, would I have courted and married her? Would there ever have been a Grant, our son? What if I had not been friends with Mike and gone to his wedding in Kentucky, would I have gone to Golden Gate Seminary as I was thinking? If I had not gone to Southern Seminary, would I have even known Dr. Oates and the field of Pastoral Care and Counseling, or would Judy have worked for him? Would I have ever worked for the Department of Child Welfare if Dr. Oates had not taken me to meet the Executive Director of the Kentucky Council of Churches about a Chaplain’s position. If I had never worked for the Department of Child Welfare, would we have lived in Lexington? If we had not lived in Lexington, would we have ever found the Trinity Baptist Church? If the Governor did not have plans to close the smaller facilities, would I have ever written a job description for Family Life Minister and asked our Pastor of Trinity Baptist Church to help me find a Church? If Dr. Oates had not recommended that I pursue a Doctor of Ministry degree at Lexington Theological Seminary, would I have ever pursued and earned that D.Min. degree? If one of the LTS professors had not asked me to become a practicum supervisor at LTS, would I have ever become the Chaplain and an Instructor at LTS? If Trinity’s Pastor had not died, would I have ever been a Pastor? If I had not read a newspaper article about spiritual direction and inquired about it, would I have even met and become friends with a Jesuit Priest? If I had not known that Priest, would I have even known about the Abbey of Gethsemane and become friends with several of their Monks? If I had not known that Jesuit Priest and the monks at the Abbey, would I have ever studied the field of spiritual formation? If I had not known a friend at Calvary Baptist Church, would they have ever telephoned me about the possibility of working with the Interfaith Counseling Center? If I had not met and become friends with the new President of BSK, would he have ever thought of me as an Adjunct Professor teaching Spiritual Formation at the new Baptist Seminary of Kentucky? If Judy had not known the youth minister at Wetumka, Oklahoma, would we have been asked by the Southern Baptist Foreign Mission Board to go to Yemen. If we had not been involved with Baptist missions, would we have been asked to become involved with CBF’s Member Care ministry with their Global Missions. I choose to believe that someone, other than me, is in charge and I call that someone, God.

Discernment: What's Important and What's Not

In today’s mail we received four letters. The envelopes were marked as IMPORTANT. The four envelopes contained four letters and some other odd stuff. The letters were clear that if we did not send money to help the fight against some disease people were going to suffer. I shredded all the letters, even the one marked with $15 circled as an anticipated donation. I call this junk mail and I am not pleased with its arrival in our mailbox. At least it provides a degree of job security for our mailperson. I hope the agencies paid their fair share of the postal expense. This junk mail reminds me that in life there are many things for which we do not need to give much attention. Discernment means knowing what is important and what is not.