Toward a Less Anxiious Presence (part 1)

Stress can cause anxiety; anxiety can cause stress, so we worry about our stress and anxiety which makes our stress and anxiety worse. It becomes an self-influencing loop that we want to break. Anxiety has its place. It is a God-created as a part of how we operate. Anxiety lets us know that we need to be careful, cautious, deliberate, etc. Example: anxiety about tomorrow’s presentation motivates preparation. There is our DNA factor. Some folks are “wired,” and/or perhaps they were nurtured with low anxiety. They are those we think of as “laid back.” Other folks are wired and/or nurtured with high anxiety. They are those we think of as “high strung.” There is eustress and distress. Eustress is that stress that motivates us to our best. Distress is the stress that gets in our way and motivates us to procrastinate, example, fear that we won’t be thought perfect. Usually the underlying energy or motivation for anxiety is fear. So, what is your anxiety trying to tell you about yourself? What are you afraid might happen? How might you handle that fearful situation if it happens? Facing one’s fears is an excellent prescription for dealing with anxiety.

FACES

This Coronavirus time is creating a lot of anxiety. Usually it is our unknown fear or fears that feeds our anxiety. This Coronavirus is certainly unknown. Whose been infected? Am I safe going into a public place such as a grocery store? Does a face mask really protect? Am I sufficiently healthy so that I could fight off the virus? We are surrounded by many other questions for which we don't have clear answers. Unknown fears feed anxiety. It has been suggested that the acronym FACES can be helpful. F = recognize and face our fears and frustrations. A = acknowledge our anxiety as well as our anger. We are frequently angry about not having sufficient answers to our questions. C = watch out for issues of control, especially over-control. We're not really in control of as much as we desire to control. E = be careful about your expectations, also about the expectations others put on us. A clue to our expectations is to listen for words or implications such as "should," "have to," "ought." etc. My physical therapist would want us to add exercise to our E. S = know our stress or stresses and seek to reduce the constant level of stress. In this time of Coronavirus anxiety, keep our FACES in mind. Take care of yourself and stay well.

Physical, Not Social Distancing

Our Church emails a devotional for each day during this Coronavirus period. Dr. Miller, a Church member, made the observation in his devotional that we are to maintain a physical distance from one another, but not a social distance. We are social people so we need to stay "in touch." We can connect with others socially via the telephone, emails, texts, Skype, Zoom and many other available platforms. Keeping a physical distance so that we aren't getting or spreading the virus is a good and necessary practice. That doesn't necessarily mean we can't reach out to others. I hope you will take the initiative during this time to contact your family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc. and say 'Hi, been thinking about you." It is a significant blessing to know that you are remembered. So, pass the blessing on to others.

Slip Slidding Into New Life Lessons

Slipped on some black ice and tore my quad loose. After surgery I'm in an immobilizer and on crutches. I'm an active person so this enforced period of inactivity is unwelcome. Nevertheless, it is slowly beginning to teach me some important lessons. For example, I must depend on others rather than doing it myself. I can't even get myself a glass of water. I have been doing a lot of reading. I just purchased a third book on my Kindle, Dr. James Hollis' book, Living an Examined Life. What drew me to it was the subtitle, "Wisdom for the Second Half of the Journey." I'm well into the second half of my journey but, nevertheless, let's read what he says. I'm a reader of Dr. Hollis and his Jungian background so I'll pay attention. In my practice of therapy, I've frequently told clients that they will think they are better than they really are. Healing takes time and our minds are usually ahead of our physical selves. At least, mine is and that's why I fell a second time, but in the house. My instructions are not to get up except to go to the restroom and table. That's not an easy lesson for me to learn.

Impeachment and stone throwing

The Presidential impeachment trial has concluded with a verdict of acquittal. I suspect we will never actually know what really happened or even what the actual motivation was all about. Nevertheless, I'm glad there was someone who brought the charge and a group that reached their verdict. Perhaps every national leader and President should be charged with misusing his/her influence and, therefore, tried by a group of peers. Our world is full of individual and group behaviors that are questionable. There is something within each of us that breaks through our persona (how we want to be seen by others) and, about which, we hope no one knows. It was Jesus who said, that those of us who are without sin are those who would want to begin throwing the first stones. I'm glad there was a charge, impeachment, trial and verdict. However, I'm certainly not in a position to begin throwing stones. I'm pleased, however, that it is over. I wish some would now 'let it go' so we can move on. Perhaps that's what Jesus meant when he said 'go and sin no more.'

Two christmases, why not?

Ever since I learned that Orthodox Christians celebrate Christmas on the evening of January 6th and the day of the 7th, I've thought, "Why not?" We Protestant and Catholic Christians call that day, Epiphany or the arrival of the wise men. We really don't know what day or even time of the year Jesus was born. The Emperor turned the worship of the Sun God into the day of celebrating Jesus' birth, primarily for political purposes. Perhaps the Orthodox are more correct. I say, what difference does it make as long as we celebrate the greatest of all miracles, which is the Incarnation. So, why not celebrate two Christmases.

Saying "Thanks"

As Thanksgiving approaches, I'm thankful for the ability to say, "Thanks." I've two friends with whom I've recently visited. One is suffering from a major stroke that has stolen his ability to speak. He can't say, "Thanks" even though his facial expressions seem to indicate that he wants to say "Thanks." Another friend has late stage dementia and is unable to recognize her visitors, even family. She is also not able to say "Thanks." This thanksgiving season, I'm grateful for the ability to say, "Thanks."