The “us” was more important than either the “me” or “you.”

My wife and I were married 63 years. She died July 15th. I may not know a lot about marriage, even as a Marriage and Family Therapist. However, I do know that it is important to always value and respect what drew you to your spouse. That which drew you together was probably different than what you possessed. The differences drew you and after a while, if we didn’t learn to handle them carefully, they became a problem. My wife loved structure and organization. She set goals and knew the steps to achieve them. I, on the other hand, loved flexibility and a laid-back spirit. I was a “go-with-the-flow” person. There were times she wished I was more like her and times I wished she were more like me. Such may have made our relationship easier, but it would have also been boring. We learned to honor and respect our differences. The “us” was more important than either the “me” or “you.” We also believed that when we sought God’s guidance, God would give one of us part of the answer and the other part of God’s response to the spouse. We had to honor, respect and seek God’s guidance through our mutual conversations and commitments. Neither of us had God’s compete answer. The “us” was more important than either the “me” or “you.”