Keeping Secrets Can Be Toxic

Dr. Ronald Cohen, M.D, as well as a Family Therapist discusses secrets in  an on-line article entitled, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell-The Hidden Life of Family Secrets."  He writes, "Toxic secrets are often long-standing and damaging to relationships and personal well-being. They become harmful and destructive when they involve keeping information from others that they have a right to know. Over time, toxic secrets corrode relationships, destroy trust and create otherwise unexplained symptoms and increased anxiety. Abundant non-productive energy is expended on maintaining who’s in the know and who is outside the cone of silence."  I often witness the keeping of secrets which become toxic, not only to the individual, but also to the group with which he or she is involved. That group may be the family, a church, a business, organization, etc.  Certainly there are confidences to keep. I fear that too many Believers and Churches keep secrets under the guise of confidentially and grace when those secrets are really toxic.  Keeping secrets are toxic when the secret gives a few persons a lot of power or authority because they are the ones with the information.  Unfortunately too many become addicted to having the inside information because it does give them a sense of  power, authority, etc.  Even more toxic is when the group has a pattern of keeping secrets which may prevent the group or individual from dealing with the consequences of inappropriate behavior. It is my belief that keeping secrets permits evil to inhabit a place.  This isn't to say that the persons keeping the secrets are evil.  It is, however, to say that they have been hooked, seduced, influenced, maybe even addicted, to the Evil One who best operates in the darkness.  Jesus said, "This is the verdict: Light has come into the world but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil." (John 3:19, NIV.)  We must be very careful with darkness or secrets.