Healthy Relationships

David Richo in his book,  How To Be An Adult in Relationships, suggests that following five "As" can lead toward healthy adult relationships.  Such relationships are a universal desire.  His "As" are attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing.  By allowing he means that we allow or permit the other person to be themselves.  As a Marriage and Family Therapist I see many couples who are having difficulty because one spouse is trying to make the other into the person they want them to be.  To try and create another person in the image I think they should have is a type of blasphemy.  God is the creator; we're not.  Not only is it blasphemy, but it makes for a lot of frustration, anger, conflict, push back, etc.  Acceptance and allowing aren't easy.  I would add another "A" to his list.  I would add accountability that is mutual. Mutual accountability means that healthy adult relationships don't harbor secrets.  Certainly there needs to be some privacy and confidentiality in health relationships, but secrets are different.  Secrets are a deliberate hiding.  Accountability is a good prescription for secrets.  Accountability is to be mutual which is the only way that trust can be developed, maintained and re-established.