What screws us up most

Google reports that it was Socrates who said, "What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be."  We carry in our minds pictures of how things in life are supposed to be.  We can recognize those mental pictures of things by all of the "shoulds" of which we speak.  It is that perfectionist part in us that has a long list of shoulds and gives strong voice to them.  It is difficult to accept that many things in life aren't as we think they should be.  In the face of how we think things are supposed to be, a healthy response is to discern a way to adjust, which implies an acceptance of how it really is. Another option is that we may choose to leave the situation.  Adjusting with acceptance or leaving, either is more healthy than constant complaining, criticizing and whining. Complaining, criticizing and whining usually won't change the situation but, those attitudes will change me.  They will create in me a bitter spirit and that's not healthy either for me or others.

Pentecost and Memorial Weekend

I don't recall seeing these two special day falling on the same weekend although I suspect they have previously.  However, that's what is happening this year.  I wondered which emphasis Churches would celebrate, especially in my evangelical tradition.  I hoped the Churches would celebrate both. The one Church where I take my brother to Sunday School emphasised Memorial Day with remembrances and recognitions of service men and women.  Another Church to which I regularly listen via the radio prayed for our men and women in service but, no other mention was made. Neither made mention of Pentecost but, I'm not greatly surprised as neither are liturgical Churches. Memorial Day and Pentecost are both important.  It seems to me that both have to do with freedom. One is freedom for our Country via the military while the other is freedom from religious law via the Holy Spirit.  I'm grateful for my freedoms, both national and religious.  Thank you service men and women and thank you Holy Spirit.

Happy Birthday, Bobby

Today we celebrate Bobby's 70th birthday.  In spite of his mental disabilities, he was taught to crochet by our grandmother.  How she did that I'll never know since Bobby is left handed and Grandma was right handed.  Nevertheless, he may do three to five coasters a day.  This week a gentleman from the County Health Department brought him five balls of yarn to use crocheting coasters.  They had asked him, and he agreed, to make coasters for them.  The Health Department plans to use them as gifts to stores in central Kentucky who agree to sell locally grown products.  He'll make a bunch of coasters for their project.  The Christian Appalachian Project has used his coasters as gifts and rewards to some client families as a part of a parenting behavior modification program.  This past Christmas our Church gave boxes of food and gifts to several hundred families.  As  families picked up their boxes, they were able to go to the Church's Christmas tree and takes several of Bobby's colorful coasters which were being used as Christmas tree ornaments.  Since Bobby has little concept of money's value, he isn't motivated by getting paid for his time, energy, skill, yarn, etc.  He just loves to make coasters and have people use them.  No one ever called a meeting, got him organized or developed a "plan" for Bobby.  It just began to happen because folks saw the coasters, heard Bobby's story and asked if he would make some for them.  I think Bobby, and many other disabled folks like him, are wonderful role models of how to do ministry.  Ministry can be simple and effective, especially when motives are pure.

Mother's Day, 2015

I was blessed to be given a mother who not only loved me without restraint, but, also, taught me to be generous and caring of others.  Mother would give away all that she had if she thought you needed it. I was given two grandmothers who lived a simple life and worked hard until they could no longer go. I suspect I've inherited both of their traits.  I'm grateful for my mother and grandmothers.  My mother-in-law lives with all the complications of Alzheimer's in a nursing home.  She may not recognize us but, nevertheless, we will visit because that's what family does.  Today I'm keenly aware of those women who are who not mothers. For whatever reason they do not have children.  Today can be a difficult day for them, especially around churches. I've suggested to several friends that this day may be a good day to "sleep in" rather than go to church where there will be so much attention given to Mothers.  The measure of a women is more than just having children.

Getting unwrapped

I'm reading a fascinating book by James Martin, S.J.  It is titled Jesus, A Pilgrimage.  I recommend it.  Martin and a friend made a pilgrimage to Israel. This book is written as a travel journal but with interesting comments about scripture interpretations as well as gentle, personal applications related to their various site visits.  Having traveled to Israel it is easy to see again the sites which he describes.  He writes very well so it is an engaging read.  I like the way he enters into the scriptures and wonders about the various differences of an event as well as interpretations.  I also like his scripture applications as they seem so real.  For example, he muses about Lazarus being "raised from the dead" and wonders how we, like Lazarus, can get so wrapped up with the things of this world that we are dead to our true-self and, therefore, Jesus calls us out of the "tomb of our false-self," helps us to get unwrapped so we can be free to be our true-self.  The "true-self" being the person God would have us to be rather than who others want us to be.  Don't know about you, but my reality is that there are a whole host of folks around, ex. media, Church, supervisors, peers, clients, etc. telling me who they think I should be.  It is so easy to get wrapped up in their expectations that it is difficult to hear Jesus helping me get unwrapped.  

Vain Glory

The news is carrying the story of Brian Williams and his exaggeration of an incident in the 2003 Iraqi war. That news report is now jeopardizing his news anchor position.  Also, my friend Paul Prather wrote an article in our Sunday paper about "The Sniper."  Paul read the book and has seen the movie.  In his book, the Sniper exaggerated some parts of his story.  I suspect that all of us have exaggerated parts of our stories at times.  We've described situations either better or worse than they were in reality.  We exaggerate in order to make ourselves look good so others will be impressed with us.  Exaggeration is a form of vain glory.  Vain glory is one of the eight deadly obsession described by the 4th century Church "father," Evagarius.  Vain glory is being focused on how I'm appearing to others.  We are being infected with vain glory when we begin to wonder if the other person or persons are impressed with our wisdom, skill, looks, etc.  Vain glory is a subtle, yet dangerous, attitude.  The scripture says that the truth will set us free.  If Brian Williams and the Sniper had simply told the truth, we would have probably still been impressed with their work and they would be free of all these questions their accuracy and integrity.  Indeed, it is the truth that will set us free.

Things Are Not Always As I'd Like

Frequently things don't turn out like I want them to, prayed, hoped and believed they would.  Sometimes it is because of my attitude, behavior, health, etc. and sometimes it is because of others attitude, behavior, health, etc.  Whatever may be the cause, it is beyond my control as hard as I may want and try to control my situation.  I've friends who work for a company or organization that have policies and procedures that they don't like because those things make their work more difficult.  Other friends are in unwanted situations because of the choices and behavior of someone else, such as a spouse, parent child, etc.  I've a neighbor whose health situation is such that he has to ask others to help him with the simplest of chores. Often the health of someone in our family creates unwanted and difficult circumstances for the entire family.  I don't think I know anyone who has everything about their life exactly as they wanted and for which they hoped and prayed.  When faced with life's difficult situations, we must accept and adjust if we are to have any sense of contentment or peace.  By contentment and peace, I refer to that which the word and concept of Shalom describes.  It is a peace in the midst of difficult situations.  It is a gracious gift of God, not of our own works or doing.  It isn't always a matter of hanging on or trying harder both of which assume my control of things.  I find myself frequently in situations when praying the serenity prayer is the best thing I can do.  The serenity prayer was written by Reinhold Niebuhr in the 1930's and prayed in a small New England church he would attend while vacationing.  As best that has been determined, in its original form the prayer was, "God give us the grace to accept with serenity things that cannot be changed; courage to change the things that should be changed; and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.  Taking as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.  Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will.  That I may be reasonable happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.  Amen."