Instructions need to be simple and clear

This weekend my brother was with us.  He comes on Friday evening and then immediately after Church on Sunday he returns to Quest Farm where he lives.  He is mentally handicapped, yet pretty clever.  His favorite drink is diet Dr. Pepper. In anticipation of his weekend with us, we purchased some diet Dr. Peppers and put them in the refrigerator.  We told him that he could only have three each day which seemed reasonable otherwise he would drink them until they were all gone.  He drank three on Saturday just as he had been told.  However, on Sunday morning prior to our taking him to church at 9 am, we noticed three more Dr. Peppers were gone.  When we asked him about them he said that they didn't have Dr. Peppers at Quest Farm where he lives so he drank his three-a-day in the early morning hours of Sunday. I guess he was obedient to what he was told, although that wasn't exactly what we had in mind.  The lesson is that whenever instructions are given to anyone, they need to be very simple and clear.  No one can read my mind to know exactly what I meant, so I have to work at simplicity and clarity.  My brother is mentally handicapped and obedient, but he is also pretty smart.

Decoration Day

This is the Memorial Day weekend. When I was a child it was called, Decoration Day. Families would go to the cemetery and decorate their families graves. I guess that was why it was called Decoration Day. I have many memories of going to the cemeteries with my folks and grandparents to clean grave-stones, plant flowers, talk and eventually go to grandma's house for supper. I remember my parents telling me not to run and jump over headstones. They said that wasn't respectful.' I'm not certain that as a child I knew what respectful meant. I probably stopped running and seeing if I could jump over headstones, at least for a little while. I think little boys have short memories. I do remember that it was at the cemetery on Decoration Days that I learned many of the "stories" of my ancestors. For example, I always loved Grandpa's story about his aunt who was a Nazarene evangelist and healer. All of her sermon notes blew out of the trains window, so from then on she preached without notes. I rarely used notes when I preached. I wonder if that story influenced me? I know it was a significant influence when I heard people saying that women couldn't preach. I hope you will say a prayer of Thanks to God for your ancestors as well as say "Thanks" to those who are still living. Also, express gratitude to those who have served in our military. I didn't serve in the military. My young adulthood was during the days when everyone had to register for the draft. If your draft classification and number was high, you were going to be drafted into the military--just go ahead and pack your bags. My draft board gave me a status of 4-D, as best I remember. That was the classification for clergy, clergy students and the mentally ill. Maybe they knew something about me way back then.  Our accomplishments, freedoms, etc. are probably because of those who have gone before us and upon whose work we stand.  Deo gratis.

Immaturity

I've a colleague who says he rarely uses the term "immature" because it sounds so judgemental.  Rather than that term, he tells folks that if they are primarily focused on the now, their feelings and themselves then they are likely to make unhealthy choices--unhealthy choices as in immature.  Certainly we need to pay attention to the now, our feelings and our self but these need to be filtered.  A preoccupation with whatever is happening now could be filtered through a consideration of consequences.  What might be the future implications of what I'm thinking about doing?  Feelings need to be filtered by thoughtfulness so that we can determine if, how, when and to whom we might share those feelings.  How could I share my feelings so as to help the present situation?  A focus on self could be filtered through a consideration of others.  What would be the implications for my family, friends, colleagues, etc. of the actions that I'm considering?  I've encountered too many folks who get themselves in difficulties and cause unnecessary problems and grief for others because they insisted on doing whatever they felt like doing at present and they thought their behavior affected no one but them.  That sounds like children who are expected to be immature.

Listening and Relationship

Yesterday my Spiritual Formation class from The Baptist Seminary of Kentucky spent the day at the Abbey of Gethsemani.  We were fortunate to have Bro. Paul spend part of the day with us.  He said that he came to the Abbey in order to better listen for God in the silence of a contemplative place.  The Abbey is a place of silence.  In the silence one can listen for those "holy nudges."  Bro. Paul indicated that listening is critical for the developing of a relationship.  I hadn't thought of listening in that manner.  Listening is so important that the first word in the Rule of St. Benedict is "listen."  I think of listening for God so that I can get a word.  That is also crucial.  However, listening is more than just getting a word.  Listening is foundational for the developing of a relationship.  Without listening a couple's relationship will diminish.  To develop some times of silence and listen for God is important.  I may hear a word from God but, also, that act of listening helps develop and deepen that relationship with God.

Things Are Not Always As They Appear

I don't like the taste of beer. I never have and can't seem to develop that taste. However, I admit that I haven't tried too hard to develop the taste. A few days ago at the grocery store, I noticed a shelf of individual bottles of beer, most of which I had never seen before. I was curious. I looked them over. They were bottled with fascinating labels. Since they were new to me, I decided I get two different ones just to try. They looked so appealing. I bought them and took them home. Over the next several days, I opened each and tasted the contents. I didn't like the taste of either. They both tasted like beer and I don't like the taste of beer. So, down the sink they went. I spent a couple of dollars on something I knew I didn't like but they looked so appealing. I wish I didn't need to keep on learning a basic lesson about life--things are not always as they appear.

My "Check Engine" light came on

My "Check Engine" light came on this week. No, this is not about our automobiles; it is about me. I was to return a phone call early in the week and I couldn't figure out who the person was. I thought and thought with no progress. I finally asked our Church Secretary and with a strange look on her face, she said it was one of the Church Staff. I was embarrassed. Later in the week I received an email asking for some information, but I couldn't figure out who the person was, although the name was familiar. The next day, I realized that the person was one of my Seminary students. My "Check Engine" light was on. This is probably the accumulation of the past several months rather than one major thing. I consulted with a couple of my colleagues and they agreed that I needed to make some adjustments. So, with my colleagues guidance I've made some changes. I've marked off three, maybe four, weeks from work as soon as we graduate students from the Seminary. Second, I've told my colleagues and folks at the front desk that I'm not available for any new clients until early June. Third, I've said that I'll not take on any new assignments, ex. preaching, speaking, leading a workshop, etc. until mid-summer. Fourth, I've asked my colleagues to hold me accountable. I've agreed that they could look at my appointment book and calendar whenever any of them desire. When one's "Check Engine" light comes on, it is crucial to give it attention. So stop what you are doing, 'pull off the road,' figure out what's happening realizing that you probably need some help doing an assessment, make the necessary corrections and, finally, find someone or several who will hold you accountable.

Change and Discernment

In the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy said to her dog, "Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore." Dealing with change is not easy. I've lived in the same house since 1973 so obviously I value stability. Stability is one of the vows that has been important in the history of religious vocations. Nevertheless, change happens all of the time and change surrounds us. For example, the Seminary were I'm an Adjunct Professor has gone primarily to distance learning. So, I've had to learn how to teach an on-line class which involved my comprehending a new definition of "blackboard" and, then, how to use it. I like some changes. My response to many of the change-challenges has been to carefully choose how to respond. Adapting to changes creates changes in me, some so subtle that I don't recognize them for awhile. Therefore, it is important to discern how I respond to the changes that are happening around me. .