Are We There Yet?

I'm not good at waiting, especially when someone else is in control.  I was that child who rode in the backseat of the auto and would repeatedly ask, "Are we there yet?"  I seem to be stuck in a time of waiting.  I have to wait for additional tests and results from heart related procedures.  At the office we are waiting to see what the University might do regarding a parking lot. I'm waiting on some insurance companies to determine whether or not they choose to place me on their panels and referral lists.  I'm also waiting for the stock market to rebound and recover what has been lost in our retirement funds.  It is difficult for me to stay focused on the present in the midst of pending changes.  My mind wants to play the 'what if ...' or 'let's try to imagine the future' game.  I realize that it is a mental and emotional game that has no certain outcome because I'm not in control and probably not even knowledgeable of all the facts.  In spite of my rational brain, I continue to play the game as a way of preparing for the 'whatever.'  It isn't easy to pray with Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, "Not my will, but Thine be done."  I don't think it was easy for him, either.    Nevertheless, I keep praying that prayer even though I really want the office to have use of that parking lot and to be on those insurance panels.  Who do I ask about when the stock market is going to rebound?  I really want to ask someone--whoever that is--"Are we there yet?"  Waiting isn't easy an easy discipline.